I'll Be Seeing You

Endless Birthdays

The next weekend, her phone buzzed next to her on the nightstand. She had spent the better part of the week not leaving the apartment. She had no reason to now. There was no work to do, no place to be. Her only job was to figure out a way to pay for Columbia but that could wait until Monday.

"Hey, Lyd. If you're not doing anything tomorrow, come to my birthday. We're doing beers at Outlast around 2." She was surprised to see his name on her phone. She was still upset with herself about how she had handled their last interaction. She shouldn't have pushed him. It was none of her business if he was seeing someone. Had he rebounded from their weird exit that quickly? It seemed odd considering she had essentially accused him of being a cheater.

Why in the world would he invite her to his birthday? She contemplated saying no but wouldn't do it. If he was extending an olive branch, she should take it. It might absolve her guilt.

"Sounds fun, I'll try to make it." She regretted it the moment she sent it. Why did she try to sound nonchalant? What she should have said was "I'm sorry and Happy Birthday. I can't make it but have a great day." That would give her some much-needed distance. Instead, she chose engagement and now she had to live with it.

Lydia tossed and turned all night, fretting over the potential scenarios she would encounter at Outlast. She worked herself up into a tizzy as she imagined the numerous social encounters, she would have to endure on his behalf including the potential of seeing ex-coworkers. This was a big deal and he had given her no time to prepare.

From the view from her window, she could see the snow had stopped and some winter sun peaked out. She opted for the lightweight, not yet spring V-neck sweater. It showed her cleavage with hints of what was underneath. She added skinny jeans and black booties. She hoped it said, "I'm approachable" to all the new people she would be meeting.

She hopped on the L train from Union Square and got off when she heard the subway announce "Latimer Street." She walked the ten blocks from the station and tried to calm her nerves. It would be fine. She would walk in, say hi to Jamie, grab a drink and handle whatever came her way. Even if that meant coming face to face with Tim.

She took a deep breath as she walked through the front door. Outlast was a mix of chaos and calm. From the front, the coffee shop portion was filled with want-to-be entrepreneurs typing furiously on their laptops as they surreptitiously scanned the room for people they could impress. Passing by the tables filled with cables and chargers, she made her way into the main lobby bar and looked around. The place was packed. By comparison to the coffee shop, the bar was a scene. It was a long old piece of reclaimed wood that could easily seat 20. At three people deep, it was hard to tell where the bar started and ended. She looked around the room and tried to scan faces anyone she knew. This was made more difficult by the pockets of small seating areas scattered throughout the room. To Lydia it seemed like everyone knew one another or at the very least had someone to talk to.

Satisfied she hadn't missed his face indoors; she followed the sound of EDM outside into the backyard area. The snow had been shoveled leaving turf in its wake. The fake grass was dotted with ping pong tables being used for beer pong. She barely heard her name being called over the shouts of a successful shot.

"Lyd over here." She looked around and found Jamie waving from a seat on the border of the yard. She immediately saw Tim seated next to him and she felt her stomach in knots.

"Hey, Lyd. You made it!" Jamie jumped up from his seat to hug her hello.

"Traveled all the way to Brooklyn for you," she deadpanned. "Happy birthday."

"Well, I'm glad you're here." She hovered closer to Jamie as Tim stood up.

"Lydia" he put on a pretend sad voice. She wanted to kick him in the balls. "I'm so glad to see you." He leaned in for a hug and Lydia felt herself stiffen up like a board. She refused to wrap her arms around him. He would have to hug a plank.