What's a Mandalorian? || Din Djarin

23|Safe with You|

I try to shut my eyes, but I can't stop smiling. I'm giddy with whatever brain chemical makes you feel those butterflies in your stomach. I lay back in my seat staring straight up into the stars whizzing past us in hyper speed. 

The feeling of smiling such a genuine smile is so special. As an adult, I can't recall many times when I felt true elation or excitement. I experienced it a lot as a child, but that feeling lessened as the years went by, especially after Oscar passed and I was left completely alone. 

Din has brought that feeling back. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it feels like the sunshine has been brought back into a dingy, cloudy day. It feels wrong to describe Din as sunshine, because he definitely is not, but he just brings this warmth and comfort back into my life that I was severely lacking. He's quiet and reserved, but has this twinge about him that feels like home.

And Din is different from Mando. Mando is intense. He's intimidating, focused, ruthless. Deadly, even. He's an assassin. A hunter. A weapon. But Din? Din is different. Din is soft and thoughtful. He's sweet, but still deliberate in his words. Din is sensitive and emotional in a way hard to put into words. 

A man who I've only just met a few weeks ago, but now an integral part in my life. It feels safe physically to be with him, but also emotionally. I know I won't get hurt under his protection, and I know he won't hurt me. There are very few situations for which I can say this is true, and I'm lucky to find myself in this particular one.

He shifts in his seat in front of me, seemingly dozing off into a sweet nap. His head falls gently to the right and hangs over his shoulder. His chest and shoulders move slowly with each breath he takes. It's slow and shallow. He's definitely falling asleep.

The ship shoots through hyperspace, with a deep, low hum. The ship rides smoothly, making it really easy to fall asleep on long journeys. It's like a hammock, cradling and rocking us to sleep like babies.

But I haven't the slightest bit of sleepiness. My mind stills reels with an infectious happiness that keeps me awake and fully aware. 

I can't help but admire how perfect he is. He's a complicated man, but he's got it all. And now I know he does care about me.

It's the first time maybe ever that I've ever had a lover to actually care for me. It feels foreign, but intoxicatingly meant for me. My past has been filled with nothing other than a few unsuccessful dates with random men I've met at the tavern. One managed to land a second date, but nothing more. I just find most men insufferable and foul in company. Most wanted nothing more than a free drink and a lady to lay. 

There was one date I went on with this Chiss man who I couldn't remember the name of if my life depended on it. It's rare to see a Chiss out in the wild. They like the keep to themselves, from what I've heard. I don't recall seeing one before or every after him back on Dantooine. But nonetheless, he approached me one busy night at the tavern and got a few drinks.

He was quiet, but stern. He was plain in his words, direct with his intentions. He approached the bar after I had already served him several drinks. He just simply asked if I was single and looking. I stupidly said yes, which prompted his proposal of a date. Again, I stupidly agreed. I have a tendency to go places with strange men I've known for about 12 whole seconds...

We met the next day at the market in town. It was a busy day with seemingly hundreds of people milling about the shops and bodegas. We walked about the chaos and had small chat for about an hour. He didn't try to hold my hand or anything like that. We literally just walked side by side and talked about nothing. I remember being quite bored.

After about an hour of the mundane, he invited me back to his place. I found it strange, since I had never seen him before. I know just about everyone in town, and he certainly was not from our town. He told me his place was just down the street. But, if he lived so close, wouldn't I have seen him prior to that day?