i was in the car cradling my verlaine plush and suddenly had a thought and it was really funny to me so enjoy this. transcendents in highschool. idc that the humor wasn't the same in 2002 if dazai can switch boyfriends every chapter i can make this work (he is most likely stuck with chuuya for a while though)(not the point)
group: the transcendents
will: dale a tu cuerpo alegría macarena
arthur: your ass is NOT getting into interpol
will: uncalled for.
paul: idk it was funny
hugo: always defending your boyfriend
paul: we're not dating
goethe: your ass is LYING
arthur: we're not dating
hugo: everyone knows you are except you two
will: i can't wait to be present for the birth of their first child
paul: what the fuck
hugo: which one of them is giving birth
paul: i hope you die victor
hugo: printing this message out and keeping it in my pocket so the coroner finds it doing my autopsy when i am inevitably killed in the line of duty and presents it to you so you feel guilty
paul: bold of you to assume you'll ever be in the line of duty
goethe: i thought we'd all agreed everyone except will would make it
will: you know what i agree with marie. i hope you die
paul: we're not allies don't pretend so. you just called me marie
will: shall i compare thee to a summer's day? because thou hast NO CLASS
paul: go fuck yourself
will: i think you're the one giving birth to yours and arthur's first child. ❤️
hugo: you are insane actually
arthur: we don't want kids
hugo: so you are dating
arthur: no we just both don't want kids
will: did i drive marie away
paul: sorry i'm not answering your messages because i'm too busy trying to kill myself fuck you
arthur: do not
goethe: hmm
arthur: don't speak to me your middle name is wolfgang
goethe: and your boyfriend's is marie
paul: victor's middle name is marie too can we start making fun of him too
hugo: you promised you would keep that secret.
paul: i never promised anything. suffer with me.
goethe: can we all agree that we all have bad middle names and move on
hugo: i think arthur's full name sounds nice actually
hugo: too bad his boyfriend's middle name is marie
arthur: i'm not even gonna try anymore
