Unravelled - Desert Duo Fic

Chapter 11

TWs: anxiety attacks, brief mention of sharp object, brief implied mention of self-harm, general mental health struggles (is it helpful for me to keep putting these here? /gq)

Grian's blood ran cold. Oh god someone else was in here they'd probably heard him how could he be so careless and so idiotic god—

"Y-yeah?" he responded, trying to sound casual. His voice came as a stutter and there was a loud crack in the middle of it.

"Have you... have you been crying?" Grian couldn't make out who the voice belonged to because it didn't matter and whoever it was didn't care about him anyway and they wouldn't even care they don't care about him no one cares about him.

Grian took a second to consider his answer because he felt horrible lying but he couldn't tell the truth because the truth was scary and the truth was awful and gut-wrenching but lying made him a bad person and he already was a really nasty human being and here he was about to lie. So, like the idiot he was, he answered, "No, sorry, I just yawned." How dumb how stupid was that and it was a terrible answer and no one would ever even believe it way to go genius.

There was an awkward shuffling from outside and Grian knew that the person was going to leave him because they didn't care but also he wanted them to leave because they couldn't see him like this but also he wanted them to stay even though it was crazy and he wanted them to come here and help him because he needed help but that was ridiculous and he needed them to leave right this instant.

"Do you... can I come in the stall?"

"What if I'm showering, huh?" Grian tried to sound casual and snarky but it didn't sound snarky or casual and why was his go-to excuse always showering and the attempt at sounding neutral made him want to cringe because it was so stiff and horrible and it was so obvious and he was an absolute idiot and he just wanted this mystery person to go away.

"Grian?" The voice was softer now and more welcoming and every part of Grian wanted to let them in but he couldn't he physically couldn't. "Could I just please come in?"

A small sob escaped Grian's lips and he immediately clapped his hands over his lips, preventing any other wounds. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and tried not to let the person hear his heaving breaths. That was dumb he was so dumb he had made a mistake.

He reached up towards the lock on the stall door.

No stop. Why would he do this he needed to stop moving his hand he didn't even know who was there or anything about the person what if they were about to make fun of him? It wasn't too late to play this whole thing off as nothing and come out looking fine and dandy and he was screwing up so so badly right now he needed to stop.

Yet, as he found his hand turning the lock mechanism and the door swinging open on its creaky hinges, he was a little proud of himself.

Only for a second.

Because then he was hit with what he had done. Someone was going to see him like this with his red face and messy hair and tear-filled eyes and croaky voice and shaky hands and uneven breaths and he still couldn't breathe he still needed air and boy oh boy this was going to end badly. Everything was already going horribly wrong and he buried his eyes in the pokey parts of his knees and hoped that they'd be enveloped in flesh so he'd never have to open his eyes again and face the embarrassment of this person seeing what they're seeing right now.

"I— thank you for letting me in. I don't mean to pry, but, like, what's wrong?"

"Nothing! Everything is dandy!" Grian forced a laugh and he didn't know why he was still lying because it was so obvious that the person wouldn't fall for that and oh no maybe they thought that he was insinuating that they were stupid but Grian obviously didn't think they were stupid and he'd probably offended them because he was sucky like that.