Forgotten

Chapter 54

(Ariana pov)

April-14th-2019
Coachella📍

I look for her around the stage to find her in the back sitting down on her phone distracting herself playing a game.

Ariana: "Faith?" I pull out her ear bud.

Faith: "You, here to pester me more about my problems."

Ariana: "How else am I supposed to understand you? I try to talk to you & you brush me off like that shit doesn't matter?"

She turns off her phone & takes her earbud out.

Faith: "You have enough to deal with the last thing you need is more burdens & my problem to stress you out."

Ariana: "I'm here to help you & understand my girlfriend better, how am I supposed to do that if you keep locking me out."

Faith: "It's the way I deal with things, I've always dealt with it, on my own...like I said before I'd be the one hurting this relationship for being me & closing myself off.

Ariana: "If you don't tell me that's already hurting us in a way we have to communicate Fae."

I sat down next to her.

Faith: "You know I'm not great with communicating."

Ariana: "Just talk with me please."

Faith: "You have my journal just read that shit, you'll understand."

Ariana: "That journal won't tell me what's going on up there in that beautiful broken mind."

She sighs looking at the ground.

Faith: "It's complicated up there, I rather not put you into this, ya it's probably stupid but what you should be worried about is this tour & read the journal again you might have missed an entry."

She was being stubborn, pushing herself off in that world of hers. I get it, I understand she's been through shit. I've been through shit too & I've opened up to her about things but when it comes to me & her thoughts I come second.

Ariana's thoughts: "I'm supposed to be your whole world too."

Faith: "You are my world, it's just going back home & then coming back here on tour, made me realize that I can't do nothing right at times, I'm nothing & your lifestyle is completely different from mine."

Ariana's thoughts: "She's nothing!? Who the fuck told her that!?"

I look at her confused & in disbelief, to me she's not nothing she's everything for me. I didn't say yes to her for nothing, I know she doesn't always open up to me. She has her flaws like I do. She shouldn't be telling herself that.

Ariana: "Nothing who the fuck told you that? Or did you tell yourself that dumb shit!?"

Faith: "Look if you really want to know so badly fine I'll tell you." She says feeling pissed off, sighing.

Ariana: "Thank you."

Faith: "The problem is I always overthink about everything...like how can I be the perfect girlfriend & keep my personal issues in check!? I have issues with my family & I still do, coming back & watching you perform made me realize I'm nothing special...i'm not an artist like you, they even said I can't produce...having people wondering why the hell is she dating a nobody like me, to top it off my anger issues could ruin the image you took so long to build, alright you have a fucking amazing career & I have shit working as a waitress & now your tech girl...that's what's bothering me alright but I'm not doing a great job at it either."