Forgotten

Chapter 59

(Faith pov)

May-5th-2019
Boca Florida📍

Abuelita: "Mi hija, tienes hambre?  quieres comer te puedo hacer algo."

Faith: "Abuelita no estoy bien gracias, no debes preocuparte, necesitas mantener tu fuerza para la próxima semana para la quimioterapia." I get up with my crutches.

Abuelita: " Faith, sé que estás preocupada, pero necesitas más atención que yo en este momento, así que quédate, relájate, no te preocupes por nada…ningún cáncer me impedirá cuidar a mis nietos y especialmente a mi Rebecca."

Faith: "Abuela!!" She knows I don't like my Middle name.

Abuelita: "Si quieres ayudar en la cocina ayúdame a cortar las verduras." She smiles at me.

I sigh & go help her cook us something to eat. It felt nice in a way helping out Abuelita, catching up with each other. It was a surprise that she even has cancer but that's life you never know when it'll be the last time you talk with them.

Abuelita: "Deberías perdonar a tu mamá, los dos no son los mejores juntos, pero ella es tu mamá y nunca debes pelear con ella, desde que eras pequeño lo único que hacía era cuidarte."

Faith: "Abuelita no podemos hablar de esto por favor."

Abuelita: "no me digas que no, han pasado 5 años, ya es hora de que ambos perdonen, ella está intentando, Faith...se queda sola algunas noches, una madre sin importar lo que pase siempre amará a sus hijos."

Faith: "No puedo Abuelita, por ti lo único que puedo hacer es no discutir con ella, pero eso es todo...ahora mismo la vida ha sido difícil para mí, amo y lo sabes, si puedo encontrar la manera de perdonar a mi mamá, la perdonaré ok." I smile at her weakly.

Abuelita: "Está bien Faith, un día no voy a estar aquí y quiero que todos ustedes sean una familia otra vez."

That really stuck with me hard, I tried not to think about it much I just couldn't. Sitting outside in the backyard I contemplated my situation. On top of all this my birthday is tomorrow, I knew Ariana would've wanted to spend the day with me.

Faith's thoughts: "I didn't think I'd hurt you this soon, and because of my dumb situation you're going to miss my birthday."

Turning 24 this year & I didn't care if I celebrated it or not. I knew she'd want to do something special for me & I ruined that for her.

Owen, our music technician, told me to take time off to figure out my personal issues & Scooter said the same. I figured out why, family & they didn't want Ariana to have any more problems than she already has with touring.

Faith's thoughts: "Nothing I do seems to be the right thing…sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if you never left, what if we never met or what if we never reconnected last year."

Those were just what ifs in the life I have with her, one this is for certain I still wouldn't have figured out how to forgive myself.

Faith's thoughts: "Can't even walk or use my hand God I'm so stupid!!"

I continue to think to myself trying to reflect on my decision & my temper. For a good couple hours before it started to rain & I headed back inside to my room.

~Messages~

Ariana: I still fucking hate that I'm not going to be there for your birthday 🥺

Ariana: How, you feeling??

Faith: We can still video call if that helps

Ariana: Ya we can but how you feeling bebe?