Chasing You (Viktor Krum X Reader)

Chapter 31: I Experience the Adverse Effects of Having a Strong Conscience

Chapter 31: I Experience the Adverse Effects of Having a Strong Conscience

There was a time when I was confident. Probably overconfident. But still. I was self-assured and I knew my skills and my limitations, and I used that knowledge to my advantage.

I think my lack of confidence is what is keeping me from connecting with my teammates. I've been an official member of the Ballycastle Bats for a month and I still haven't made much progress with them.

Of course, Anthony is nice, but I can feel him withdrawing from me as he realizes that I'm not fitting in any better than I was on the first day. Like maybe he was excusing my isolation from the team as first-day jitters, but now he's struggling to justify my behavior.

And the others are still respectful, but I can see when they stop joking when I enter the locker room, and I can see that they are too cautious to tease me like they do among themselves. They're nice—too nice. Because they don't see me as one of them.

I hate it and I know that it would get better if I just put myself out there, but I can feel a physical barrier keeping me from joking, keeping me silent when everyone else is laughing. It hurts.

But at least things are good between me and Viktor. Really good, actually.

He is laying on top of me, his face pressed into my chest, each of his soft breaths tickling over my skin like a warm breeze. His arm is wound over my belly, his hand tucked against the side of my ribs. I'm almost positive he's asleep even though I can't really see his face. I gingerly slide my hand up the back of his neck, letting his hair slip between my fingers as I stare at his ceiling.

My first game is in a couple of days and I'm nervous. I don't want to let my team down, and I'm scared that I won't be good enough and the team will suffer because of it. Even though I know I'm good enough, there's a mental block that's keeping me from accessing that skill. I don't want the others to think I'm showing off or that I'm aggressive like Rae says, so I'm trying to hold back during practice even when Rae and the coach seem disappointed.

Viktor inhales deeply and tightens his arm around me, pushing his face further into my chest. I still, not knowing whether he's awake or not. When he starts to pepper little kisses along the neckline of my shirt, I can't help but smile, some of my worry dissolving.

"Hi," I whisper, fighting back a smile when he slips his hand beneath my shirt and lets his fingers splay over my ribs. He peeks up at me, his hair tousled from my fingers.

"You are awake?" he asks, eyebrows drawing together.

"Yeah," I say, running my fingers down the back of his neck, tracing the vertebrae of his spine. He shivers and presses himself closer to me, planting a kiss on my jaw. "You were only asleep for maybe twenty minutes."

His fingers wander higher until his thumb meets the underside of my breast, and he slowly swipes his finger along the curve of my breast, dipping his head to kiss my throat. And I know that I shouldn't want him again, seeing as how I just managed to slip into one of his t-shirts after he kissed me all over just thirty minutes prior, but... I shift my hips beneath him, finding his thigh between mine.

Viktor's lips pause at my chin for a moment before he finally kisses me, and I don't hesitate to deepen the kiss, tasting the slightest hint of my release on his tongue from before. My heart pounds and anticipation warms my body, making me restless beneath him.

I can feel him press his arm against my side like he's trying to slip it under me, so I arch my back to give him room, and I can't help the surprised noise that leaves my lips when I'm flipped over. I brace my hands on his chest, trying to settle the quick beat of my heart as I process that he's completely flipped us over, placing me on top of him. His thighs are warm and firm beneath mine, bare and corded with muscle that shifts beneath his skin when he adjusts. His hands settle on my knees, slowly sliding up my thighs.

Viktor's blankets are now pooled around my hips, leaving him exposed to me, revealing that he's hard. His length rests against his belly, and I gingerly run my fingers along the length of him, watching his stomach tense up, his spine curving slightly. His chest rises and falls frequently as I cautiously stroke my thumb along his skin, watching him carefully to make sure that what I'm doing is okay. I can't really tell if he enjoys it from the way he shifts, the furrow of his eyebrows and the flex of his muscles.

He slides my shirt up and hooks his hands in the back of my knees, pulling me closer to him. The way I'm straddling his lap has me completely bared to him, and he guides me forward even more until I'm positioned directly over him. I brace my hands on his chest as he closes his hand around his length and brushes a path between my clit and my entrance slowly, hissing quietly between his teeth.

He asks, "Is this okay? With you on top?"

I nod and try to find somewhere to brace my hands, hesitantly pressing them against his chest. And we've done this a few times now, so he seems to fit a little better. The pain that I felt the first time we did this doesn't really happen anymore, and he feels better and better each time, especially since I get more eager to have him inside of me. Before, I only felt pleasure when he hit certain parts of me. Now, every point of contact is pleasure.

When I sink down on his length, his fingers tighten on my thighs and he drops his head back into his pillows, his jaw clenching. His breathing almost instantly deepens, his chest rising and falling beneath my hands. I slowly work my hips up and down, breathing heavily as I try to adjust. He slides his hand up the front of my shirt, letting his palm warm my belly.

I trail my fingers down his sculpted shoulders, the soft give of the muscles in his chest and his belly, which contract every so often in time with a quiet and deep utterance of pleasure; a tightening of fingertips and a jerk of the hips.

I capture his hands in mine, winding our fingers together, and then I draw them upward. Viktor raises his hands obediently, letting me pin them beside his head.

I ride him until I fall apart, and he quickly follows suit, and then he winds his arms around me to hold me close. I tuck my head into his chest and listen to his heartbeat, the steady thrum of his pulse. I fall asleep like that, and I don't wake up for many hours.

When I do, it's because of the nightmare.

I dream about the graveyard, the unnatural stillness of the world, like the universe was holding its breath, waiting for him to emerge from his hiding place, waiting for him to enslave the world with his terrible dark magic.

Waiting for me to make a mistake that could cost everyone.