safe & sound: an everlark story

six

it's the first week this spring that the weather is nice and sunny. even though it's averaged 69° it feels perfect out.

peeta spends a lot of time outside painting. i could watch him paint forever. the way he uses his brush is so gentle. he's so naturally good, too. he can paint almost anything. i've watched him paint waterfalls, flowers, the quarter quell arena, himself, and lately he's been painting a lot of animals. i get the idea that maybe he wants one or maybe it's just another way he's expressing himself.

i'm sitting on the bench beside him as he sketches the outline for his new painting when he stops. he sits still for a moment, pencil in the same spot. i'm confused. he then smashes the lead into the canvas and drops the pencil. i look over at him and i'm immediately alarmed. his eyes are still and dark. his shoulders are tended up.

"peeta..." i say, "hey, peeta..."

his episodes still happen, even though they aren't as often.

he sits there still for however long until he pulls back and smashes the cup full of paint water to the ground. i flinch back, watching the glass shattter into a million pieces.

"peeta." i say again, but it's like he doesn't even hear me. 

i watch him as he shakes his head and hits his palms against his forehead, trying to take out whatever memory has flooded his mind.

i decide not to touch him and just watch and make sure he doesn't hurt himself.

his breathing starts to get faster and his muscles change. i can tell he's coming down from his short episode.

"katniss?" he looks around for me.

"right here." i go up to him and tuck his head in my neck, holding him.

"did i scare you?" his eyes have trailed off to the broken glass on the floor. "i'm so sorry."

"i'm just glad you're okay." i whisper.

he kisses my cheek and pulls away from me.

"i want to be alone right now. i'm going to go upstairs." he says.

"okay." i frown, i feel bad. "let me know if you need me."

i stay on the couch reading for a long time until i see the sun start to set outside. i start dinner for the both of us, assuming peeta will come down to eat eventually.

i made corn chowder soup and pair that with the squirrel i hunted down yesterday.

i wait until the soup is cold for peeta, but he doesn't show. i end up having to heat up the soup again because it's been so long and i eat alone.

when i'm done, i heat up peeta's plate and bring it upstairs. he's in the guest bedroom, one neither of us has been in until now.

"peeta?" i open the door slowly. he turns over from where he is on the bed to look at me. "you should eat."

"can you just leave it there?" he points to the nightstand.

i place the plate down and sit on the edge of the bed.

"are you okay?"

"katniss i don't know what's wrong with me." he whispers.

"what do you mean?"

his eyes are welled up with tears and i can tell he wants to cry.

"i'm sorry i threw the glass." he says.

"peeta you didn't hurt me, you know that right?"

"i could've." he says, "i never want to hurt you again."