safe & sound: an everlark story

twelve

"are you crying?" peeta turns over in bed and says softly.

i didn't think he was awake so i wasn't trying so hard to cover it.

"sorry." i say, patting my face dry. "i thought you were sleeping."

"talk to me." he whispers, pushing hair from my face and holding me from behind.

"no it's okay." i sniff, "i'm alright."

"you're crying baby." he says, "just talk to me."

"just overwhelmed." i say, "i miss my mom. bullshit like that."

"i know..." he whispers, holding me tight, "what do you need?"

"i just want to sleep." i cry, "but i can't"

"i have something that seemed to help you before." peeta drags a book from our nightstand and opens to a page he had bookmarked. "want me to read to you?"

i nod. peeta begins to read, his voice soft and soothing. he keeps one hand in my hair and brushes my hair with his fingers as he reads me to sleep.

i'm fully asleep within 20 minutes, and so is peeta shortly after.

in the morning, peeta reads to me some more. we found it to be a great way to start our day.

after we end on a nice chapter, peeta hops in the shower and i go downstairs to make coffee and heat up some cinnamon rolls peeta made the other day for breakfast.

peeta comes downstairs, his hair soaked and still dripping onto his grey t-shirt. he sits across from me and i slide the plate towards the middle.  peeta takes a cinnamon roll in his hand to eat. i try not to look at him because i'm already feeling way too many feelings for this early in the morning and i don't want them to fall through.

"maybe we should go get you some new books?" peeta says, "i'll be done with what i'm reading to you soon."

"i like when you read to me." i whisper, still not looking at him.

"let's get some more okay?"

i shake my head in agreement instead of speaking. it stays quiet for a bit. peeta tries to figure out what is wrong. i know he's wondering and i can't hold it in anymore. my voice lets out a small shaking wince and i begin to sob.

"what is it?" he says, "what's wrong?"

"peeta i need help." i cry.

he stands up and lifts his chair to place himself infront of me. he sits down, bending his body and placing a hand on my thigh to get on my level.

"with what kat?"

"i'm so sad." i sob, "i cant do it anymore."

peeta rubs my leg for a second, trying to think of what to do. my crying just gets worse. he pulls me into his arms, sitting my on his thighs and hugging me.

"i'm gonna find you some help." he coos, "i'll find you help. don't worry."

later that morning, peeta leaves to go speak to haymitch. he says he'll be back soon. i try to entertain myself my showering and cleaning up the house a little but my brain still clouds with anxiety and greif. i decide not to punish myself by listening to my minds ugly words anymore and fall asleep. i sleep until i hear peeta open the front door hours later.

"take a nap?" peeta smiles softly, coming to me.

i nod, "yeah."

he's holding a small paper bag in his hands and i wonder what it is but i don't ask. peeta sits beside me and kisses me.