safe & sound: an everlark story

two

we've been sleeping together in my bed for three nights now. i still can't seem to get over my depression and peeta continues to care for me when i need it. but mostly, we just love the sweet company. we've spent a few hours each day away. peeta goes home to get things done (which i'm not sure what that is) and i go hunt or gather supplies.

we're laying in bed and peetas spooning me when i suddenly remember watching peeta each night through his window. he sleeps with the night on every night. he has every night since the war.

"peeta. you sleep with the light on." i say. i'm just now realizing peeta hasn't been sleeping.

"hm?"

i turn my body over slowly to face him and brush my thumb under his eyes.

"you haven't been sleeping. have you?" i say this calmly became i fear it could sound like i'm scolding him.

"i sleep in the early morning hours. just before you wake. i'm okay like this katniss, don't worry." he tells me, "i'm okay with watching you sleep."

i reach over to my bedside table and switch on the lamp. it glows a light yellow light, just like the one at peetas.

"is that enough?" i ask.

"yes. that's enough," he says, "thank you."

tonight i wait for him to fall asleep instead. he needs it most. i want to make sure it's actually happening, it takes a lot longer then i expected but eventually i feel his body heavy and his breathing change and i know he's asleep. i scoot closer to him and fall asleep too.

it's weird, what the dark does to peeta. he's tried sleeping with the light off before, but the flashbacks beam in his head. sometimes when he blinks, the slight second of darkness sometimes leads him into a panic attack.

the next morning when i wake up and peetas still sleeping. his back is faced to me. i noticed he's shaking, not aggressively, but he's shaking. i'm not quite familiar with his ptsd yet. i don't wanna wake him up and startle him but i'm not sure what else to do. i slip my hand beneath his shirt and rub his back as gentle as i can.

"shh" i shush him softly as i rub his back, anxiously waiting for his shaking to stop. after a moment, it's calmed down and after three it's over. as soon as i'm 100% sure it's over, i lean into him and lay my arm over his body and try and rest a little more. it doesn't last long though because peeta rolls out of bed and sits on the edge of the mattress.

"peeta? you okay?" i ask him.

"yeah." he says, looking over at me. "did you sleep okay?"

"i did." i say, "you seemed to have slept through the night."

he smiled, laying back down beside me.

i couldn't decide if i should bring up his sleep episode or nightmare. i'll admit, i'm not sure what that was. although, he was super quiet this morning so maybe he knew.

"doing okay?" i whisper, laying my head on his chest.

"bad dreams all night."

"you were shaking." i tell him, "what was your dream of?"

he breathes a short, shaky breath. "you."