safe & sound: an everlark story

three

its early december now and the first snow of the winter is expected soon. i'm not excited. the cold and the snow remind me of the war. i have no reason as to why, but they do.

i find lots of firewood on my trip to the woods and bring it back with me. it'll be useful for keeping the house warm. i don't want to feel the cold any more than i need to.

peeta stays home. he says he is tired. i let him lie. i know he's not. i figure he needs some alone time. im worried sick about him the whole time. he told me sometimes he just needs to be alone, but it pains me thinking about the fact that he might be depressed and i'm not there to help. i compromise by telling my self he can have the few hours im away getting firewood to himself and when im home we'll talk and i'll try and comfort him. i hope he still doesn't need it by the time i'm home, though.

i pile up the firewood the most organized and fastest way i can on the front porch. it's freezing and i don't want to be away any longer.

when i walk inside and hang up my coat, i notice the house smells super sweet. almost like vanilla and cinnamon. peeta must be baking. i walk into the kitchen and there he is.

"hi, love." he says, "find what you needed?"

"plenty." i smile, hugging him close. i take in the smell of him as he wraps his arms around me. he smells like cinnamon and amber. i love how he smells. "feeling better."

"can we talk about it later?"

"mhm. what are you making?"

"cinnamon pumpkin muffins."

"smells really good." i say.

i watch peeta as he takes the muffins from the oven and places them on top of the oven to cool down a little.

"i'm gonna shower." i walk towards the stairs. "i'll be back down in a little while."

"okay." he smiles sweetly at me.

i go upstairs and i quickly shave and wash my hair of the days dirt. when i'm all finished and dry, i change into a crewneck and shorts and braid my hair into a long thick braid. it's quiet downstairs so i figure the muffins must be done.

"are they done?" i ask peeta as i walk downstairs. he's standing by the island. he doesn't respond. "peeta?"

i rush over to him. his eyes are completely blank and cold. i know this must be an episode but i'm terrified i've never seen him like this.

"peeta..." i whisper.

"get the hell away from me!" he yells, causing me to jump back.

"it's just me. hey, what's wrong?" i plead with him.

"i know exactly who you are. you're at mutt! you're at mutt!" he cries.

"this isn't real." i'm tearing up. i know he doesn't mean it and he's not himself but it scares me a little. "this isn't real peeta."

he's banging his fists against his head repeatedly trying to get the thoughts out of his mind. i don't want him to hurt himself so i gently grab into one of his wrists. "hey, stop." i coo, "you're alright."

peeta slides down to the floor sobbing and shaking. "i'm scared! i cant!" he sobs, "they're coming! i wanna go home..." i've never seen anything worse before. peeta was in absolute agony.

"hey, can i touch you?" i say, showing him my hands. he doesn't deny, so i take the risk.

"i'm scared.." he continues to cry. the hiccups and struggle to breathe in his cries absolutely pain me.