Fear me dear

Part 5

The day of my fathers memorial came. We all got in James’ pretty big black car. I started putting my speech in order. “Urgh James would you turn the stupid radio down I’m stressing out here and the radio isn’t helping me at all!”

He turned it up for a joke then turned it down. My mother kept turning back to see if I was ok. And I knew she was doing this. “Mum before you even open your mouth to ask I am totally fine just stressing out ok?” She sighed and turned back around.

  We arrived at the memorial. I had a few sound checks to do before everyone started arriving. This year my little sister was going to make a speech. I know that would make me cry instantly. Good job I was doing mine first.

   Everyone arrived and I was waiting to go on stage. People were sat in their seats. Someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around. It was Oli.

“Hello Oliver” I stepped off the step so I was my normal height.

“Hey I just wanted to say good luck before you go on stage and before I sit with them” He pointed to the table full of the lads “And I’m sorry about your dad”

I looked down at my speech “It was a while ago now” I said in a quite voice

“It doesn’t matter. It’s still hard. And you look really nice” He smiled and walked to his table. I smiled and stood back in my position waiting to go on stage.

The light blinded me as I stepped on stage.

“Hey. So erm. I guess there is a lot I could say about how losing my dad has effected me, In so many ways. But then again I could just explain how much he meant to me in so many ways. I mean he just inspired me, If I ever had a problem he was there he would take me out to do photography with him, He inspired me to do what I want to do in life. And he didn’t just inspire me he taught Lee my cousin how to play guitar now look at him, He is in his own band. He inspired my little sister to draw and she doesn’t stop drawing now. He just inspired people where ever he went. But we both didn’t just love photography we both can’t write speeches too well” Everyone including myself laughed “But really all I wanted to say is no one will replace my dad. And all though he is gone he hasn’t left me and he still has yet to leave me. I love you dad” I walked off the stage and sat with my sister who was sat on the same table as mum and James. I looked across to lee and oli nodded and smiled at me.

Next it was Mary’s turn.

“Well when I got told my dad died I cried for a few hours. However my big sister cried for a few weeks. In fact make it years. I hear her crying every night when she doesn’t think any one can hear her. When I found out I drew a picture. It was of the first thing my dad taught me to draw. A circle. He said to me. A circle is a good thing because it just goes on and on and on and is ever lasting. My dad’s spirit will be everlasting like a circle”

Damn her I knew I would cry. Her and mum are great speech givers. I didn’t really want to stick around for my mums.

It came to the day of Jane’s memorial.

“FOR GOD SAKE HANNAH GET IN THE CAR!” James shouted up to me.

“FOR FUCK SAKE JAMES I’M COMING” I slammed the car door.

“Great! Now we’re late for picking up Lee!” He turned the engine on in a violent rage

“Dad chill. It’s Lee it’s unlikely he is out of bed” Jona put his seat belt on as his dad sped up the road.

“James will you slow the car down a bit please” James was travelling at least 70 mph in a 30 zone

“James you’re going far to fast” I was trying to stay calm so he might listen to me.

“James seriously slow the fucking fuck down” I looked across the road. We were almost at Lee’s house. Lee always crossed the road to get in the other side of the car. His house was on the right and he got in the left. I saw him crossing the road and James still hadn’t slowed down.

 “JAMES!!!” I screamed but it was too late. Lee was down.