The God in the Machine

A World to Call My Own (Part 2) - To Me, 100 Years Later

The djinn backed away from me, twirling on its heel before finding a seat on my tattered sofa.

"What? Not going to ask if I want a drink." Its tone had lightened. It was still amused, which I figured was best for my safety, so I kept it that way. The djinn started to look dissatisfied, putting me further on edge. It addressed me a little louder than the first time "Well?... I don't tolerate being made to wait for long..." It wanted me to play its game. To squirm and bend to its whims. Knowing this was pointless, I haven't stood up for myself against anyone, much less an ancient demon.

"I'm s-s-so sorry... Do you have a name? Would you prefer djinn?" I tested the waters, I was horrified of making any offense.

The djinn seemed to reflect on my question for but a moment, "It matters not" it replied "I've been called by many names, it's all human nonsense" It quickly lost interest in that discussion and moved back on topic. "Michael... I hate wasting time." Its mood darkened. "You will tell me your desire. Be specific... or don't, I only benefit from your idiocy." Yes, I was terrified of the creature, but at the same time, I was elated that I found the right one. I had hope, there was a way to get her back!

"Michael... put the tea on... now." My lack of hospitality was becoming offensive, I was scared shitless, what could it expect? I darted out of the room and started boiling some water in my kettle.

The djinn was in a better mood, appreciating my skittish attitude and hesitation. "Tell me about your mother... Michael." I got that one. Didn't laugh, couldn't really. I could only hope that the djinn wouldn't be bothered by the lack of a reaction. I mustered up the courage to speak my piece in front of the creature.

"She was the m-m-most important person in my life." My voice was quiet and I stuttered, Father would have been deeply disappointed with my weakness. "My only friend, my only family. Without her, I don't know how to live. The world is too loud, too big, it's hell out there, I'm safe in here... but the loneliness is starting to screw with me. I'm losing my mind.." The djinn leaned forward attentively, but to me, it looked like it was getting in position to pounce on me and... eat me? Take my soul? I had no idea what I was dealing with. The mounting horror of making one wrong step was in the front of my mind, and my request was further back. "She was gentle and protective and never gave up on me-" the kettle whistled loudly.

"The tea is ready. Are you going to keep prattling on or will you make me a cup?" The djinn interrupted.

"Yes, I-I'm so sorry, one moment" It was toying with me and I couldn't say a single thing about it. I brought back the tea to the djinn, it was standing closer to me, staring intensely when I entered the room.

"Put the tea down over there." It gestured to an end table. "I've become bored with your backstory..." It paused, likely for dramatic effect, "I can create a reality... just for you, where your mother will be alive and healthy. Is that what you desire?... Yes or no." The djinn looked at me impatiently. Ahh, it never cared about the tea, did it I couldn't help but have this completely irrelevant and obvious thought.

"Y-Yes that's exactly what I want." I quickly replied. It was happening, this fucked up mistake of Mother dying, it could be made right!

"There will be a cost... One most steep... How about your life, hmm? Are you willing to die for your precious mother?" The djinn's nasty grin was widening. "You love her, don't you? You owe her everything, don't you?" Its face drew closer to mine. "Well?" I froze. At that moment I realized the depths of my cowardice. No matter how awful life was, no matter how much I suffered, I was too afraid to die. If I sacrificed my life to save Mother's I wouldn't even be around to be by her side. So what would be the point? When I die, it all dies with me. I was selfish. I disgusted myself. But nothing was more important than my life. Nothing is worth braving the horrors of hell, or the long quiet of an infinite darkness after my consciousness slipped away. I can't give my life, even for her. Mother would have understood, she always put me first. I couldn't live without her so she shouldn't be able to live without me.