❥𝑹𝒆𝒅 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆

Chapter 30

Valerie POV

Earlier that day

I rushed into the office with an uncomfortable feeling plaguing my stomach.
I felt all eyes on me as I arrived at my desk.

They all must've seen these stupid photos.

I told myself over and over again that I should not care about what others think or do.
But their curious, offending looks burned through my skin and gave a me shiver that ran down my spine.

And to make it all even better, I noticed the presence of someone else behind me while I was packing some papers from my desk into my bag.

»Good morning, Valerie.«
I froze in my doing, turned around and faced the dark haired security guard, looking at me half happy, half curious, with a risen eyebrow.

»Good morning.«, I replied hesitantly, hoping a hole would show up right beneath my feet so I could just sink in it and never come back.

Raphael just continued to stare at me while I continued to go through my stuff.

»I have a question.«, he mentioned coldly and gave me an intense stare.

»I assume it is about the picture floating around the news.«, I guessed, not facing him. I tried to look busy sorting my papers.

He stayed silent.

»I don't really want to talk about it.« That was all I said.

»So there is something between you and Leclerc.«, Raphael remarked, sounding like he had known it before.

I turned around again, meeting his gaze. I couldn't tell what he thought. His eyes were all dark, like he tried to lock away his feelings.

But my eyes obviously said enough.

»And you didn't think it would be something you should tell me before flirting with me?« He sounded angry.

»I'm sorry, Raphael. I still have to figure it out on my own, to be honest.«
I didn't know whether I should apologize or tell him it's not his thing to care about.

»So is this like your habit? Playing around with people?« His voice volumed up and I shrugged at his words.

»Raphael, I-«
»I really thought different when I first met you.«

»Please don't scream at me.«
The words rushed out of my mouth before I could think about them.
I stood there, sounding like a scared little kid that needed protection.

It was just a habit, I guess.

And it reminded me of times that I successfully pushed aside for a very long time.

Raphael gave me a confused look.
»I was serious with you, Valerie. But for you I was just another toy to play fetch with.«

He turned his back on me, leaving the office with a cold shoulder.

My colleagues had curious, disturbed looks on their faces.
I mean Raphael was loud enough for everyone to hear it.

I finished packing the important stuff to take it with me to the Bahrain Grand Prix in two weeks.

Narrator POV

Later in the evening

Valerie arrived at Charles' house, her hands shaking.
It was time the two of them figured this all out.

Charles opened the door, following her into the kitchen.

»We finally have to talk about this.«, he just said while leaning against the kitchen counter.
Valerie stood across him, resting in his eyes.

They both had the urge to rush into each other, kiss one another and feel the other's body as close as possible.

But they kept a certain distance. Even though the tension attracting both of them was a plague to resist.

»I thought about it. Often. And for a very long time.« Charles spoke first.
His voice was a little bit shaking. His hands were behind him but he was nervously tipping with them on the counter.
»I uhm... I saw how much fun you had with Raphael yesterday and I...« He looked at the floor. »You looked pleased with his presence. It looked easy.«
He put his hands in front of him, playing with his rings while continuing to talk.
»And with me it is never easy. It is complicated. And... and confusing. You have to deal with sides of me I never wanted to show to anyone. And we've been going through this whole "Be and not be" for too long. I- I have the feeling I'm holding you back from being ha-«

»Charles.«

The words just kept flushing out of his mouth and between the sentences his voice broke down even more.

Valerie rushed towards him, breaking the itching distance between them. She took his hands in hers, forcing him to look up to her face.
»Stop talking.«
»What?«

»Charles. I don't care if it's not easy, complicated, or confusing. All I care about is being with you, no matter what happens. If it was for me, it could be even more tangled, heartrising or hurting. Because that what love is about, Charles. It hurts. And you cannot show someone your best without allowing them to see your worst. It's part of all this. I will stand with you, wherever you are. And what I learned while not being around you is that no matter how hard I try not to, I cannot deny what I feel.«

Charles rose his head, looking into her eyes.
A small tear was rolling down her cheek.

»The only thing you are holding me back from is being with the man I love. Being with you.« Valerie's voice trembled while speaking. »And I hope I didn't came here so you could tell me you don't want any of this, because then I-«

Charles caught the tear escaping her eye with his finger. Then he took her hands and held them against his chest.

»This heart beats for you.«, he said, pushing her hands closer to him.
»And it will never beat for anyone else. Because you are everything this heart desires. I want to be with you, day and night. I look at you and I just love you. And it terrifies me.«

Charles put a hand on her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

»I chose you.«, Valerie admitted. »I did a very long time ago. And I would choose you over and over again.«

Without hesitation, Charles grabbed her by her hip and pulled her closer to his body, touching her lips with his.

»I hate how much I want you.«, Charles noticed in a whisper as they came to a pause. »It's a weakness.«
»Then it will be a weakness we share.« Valerie buried her hands in his hair, pulling him into another kiss.

Charles broke off to say something.
»You know, I still have to take a shower...«

______________________
Sorry guys you had to wait a bit for this chapter, I hope you like it!
It's a little cozy and lovy up there between Charles and Valerie. Is it too much love talk? I'm not a poet so I don't even know if it's good or something.
Just wanna hear your opinion<3
And should I write out the next chapter as in the last sentence of this?;)
Love you guys💕