Chapter 83

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Charles

I can't be with her. Not now, not in weeks. Months. Ever. It was the hardest thing to accept. The heaviest to do so I've ever come across. I couldn't allow myself to long for her presence. To feel the desire for her soft touch on my skin.
I couldn't give in.
I mustn't.
I couldn't bear to.
Not with the consequences.
Even if it was the thing my heart most desired.
Not even then I could dare to risk it.

Even if she was just sitting a breath away. With her brows crinkled up in concentration as she studied whatever the medias showed her on her phone. With her mouth resting in a polite smile, her legs put on top of one another, like it was the most relaxing thing to do.

She looked so... at ease.
Just doing what she was doing.

I dared to catch a glance every other minute, fearing she could disappear when I wasn't paying attention.
What a funny thought.

The silence had grown loud in the plane. Too loud. Painfully pressuring.
I could barely breathe as there was nothing left to say between us.
At least from the outside.
I imagined a thousand things to say. But none of them would escape my mouth.

My chest lifted and sank heavily as I tore my gaze from the window and watched a stewardess walking towards us.

She greeted us politely, gathering Valerie's attention, too.

"We have taken an upcoming storm on our radar to record. The pilot has decided to do an emergency landing to avoid putting the crew and you in unnecessary danger.", she informed us, her face without any certain expression.

I nodded, slowly.
Surely, I wanted to ask if this was really required. But one shouldn't quarrel with mother nature.
My gaze shifted to Valerie, who turned her head to the window.
The clouds hadn't darkened yet, but it was just a matter of time before the first raindrops would hit the earth.

I wondered what she was thinking.

"Where will we land?", I asked the stewardess instead, trying to figure out in my head where we could be flying above right now.

The stewardess smiled and answered.
"The pilot has chosen the nearest possible location. Ferndale, California. It's a village with a near landing strip."

"A village?"

I rose an eyebrow.

"We didn't want to risk flying to the next bigger city, it would be too far. The storm is expected in about 10 minutes."

I nodded and thanked for the information. The stewardess departed and I followed Valerie's eyes outside of the window.

"Sorry.", I suddenly said out of the blue, not looking at her.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her turning to me, a confused expression drawn to face. "For what?"

It was like a small wave of relief that shivered through my body as I heard her soft voice again after what felt like ages. I sighed before I spoke.
"That we have to interrupt the flight. I know you wanted to be in Mexico already tonight."

Now I met her gaze.

"No one can do anything about a storm.", she replied calmly, her eyes locking with mine.

"Yeah." I rubbed the back of my neck, searching another spot to look at before I could get lost in her intense stare.

After only minutes, the sky growled and raindrops hit the plane, just as it was predicted.
Valerie continued to watch the storm intently, her hands shivering slightly. Her gaze was filled with a hint of worry, as far as I could read.

"We will land soon."
I tried to comfort her. Even though I was in no position to do so.

She just nodded, not looking away from the window.

My stomach felt weird when the plane hit the ground, landing safely. I took a deep breath and stood up. Valerie did the same, following me outside. The staff handed us an umbrella.
A taxi drove us and our suitcase to a near hotel.

I was surprised there even was one in this small village. Barely 2.000 people lived here, I guessed.
But the pilot told us it was a popular holiday destination for many families. Because of the quiet landscapes, the peace. It was near the coast, too.

Exhausted, we arrived at the hotel reception. I leaned against the counter, speaking to the lady behind it who looked into her computer.
Her eyes studied the booking list with concentration.

Valerie stood right behind me. I could hear her steady breath, feel her expecting eyes burning holes through my back.

A moment passed and the woman behind the counter looked up, an apologetic look on her face.

"We are pretty much booked out," she began to say, clicking on her computer, "but there is one double room left, if you'd like."

My body showed no reaction for a long while, staring blankly at the receptionist.
"Are you sure you haven't got two rooms left?", I finally spoke up, praying in my mind.

Against my sake, the woman shook her head after taking another look into the computer.

My head turned to Valerie, who most likely overheard the conversation. She studied me for a second, then shrugged her shoulders and nodded.

I didn't like this.
What good luck we had.
But eventually I sighed, speaking to the receptionist again.

"Then we'll take that room, thanks."
I smiled politely, though behind my eyes a thousand thoughts raced at hundreds of kilometers per hour.
The village was small, yes.
But what if I was seen with her? Sharing a room, even?
I couldn't risk putting my family in any more danger.

We received the keys and I opened the door to our hotel room on the second floor.

When we walked inside, our suitcase rolling behind us, the air seemed to be stuck inside my lungs for a second.

I looked at the middle of the room, then at Valerie.

"One bed."
She spoke out what I had in mind.

"Yeah..." I scratched at the back of my head. "Do you mind?"
My eyes met hers. Those soft, blue-grey eyes. Slowly, she shook her head.

"No."

Without putting more effort in a conversation, we resided to sleep not long after arriving. 

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