My Three Cousins

Chapter Four

The next week passed uneventfully, and the more time that passed the more I started to think that I was exaggerating what had happened by the lake.  Slowly my behavior seemed to be returning to normal with my cousins, but I was still careful to avoid their touch, especially Helen's.  My cousins however did not seem to be returning to normal with me.  Joan and Ruth started to seem more distant than ever, taking any excuse to avoid being alone with me and Helen took an opposite approach, as if she was trying to recapture the friendliness of our childhood.  The harder she tried, the more offput I was by her attempts.

Because of my new discomfort around Helen and her obsessive attempts to overcome it, anytime mom mentioned a task that would take us out of the house, I was the first to volunteer.  This tactic, however, started to fail once Helen began to volunteer too.  This left her and I uncomfortably stuck on errands with my oblivious mother who prattled on and on about how glad she was to see we were becoming close again.  I found my mom's desire for Helen and me to get along just as off-putting as I found Helen's.  

"Hey cousin," Helen yelled into my room, "We're going to the store!"

"Have fun," I called back, hoping that would get me out of even pleasantries with her.

"No, you're coming with us." Helen laughed, "we're going to have a girls day!"

"Oh um, I'm not feeling great," I tried.

"Addison you're going," my mom said harshly, and I knew the conversation was over.

When I got downstairs, I was surprised to see that it wasn't my mom ready to go, it was Joan, Ruth, and Helen.  "Mom-" I started but the look on her face told me to be quiet, Mom was still tiptoeing around my cousin's since their mom died and she knew whatever I was about to say didn't exactly fall in the cautious, respectful category.

Within minutes I was making small talk with my cousin's in the car, trying not to be sick from Joan's driving and trying to use as few syllables as possible.  Our first stop was a bookstore halfway between the house and the main part of town.  Joan pulled recklessly into two spots before turning back to me and assuring me that this was just for Ruth so we wouldn't be there long.

"Just because you don't know how to read," Ruth said letting her sentence trail off before getting out of the car and walking into the store.  The other two didn't even bother unbuckling their seatbelts, apparently deciding they weren't even going to waste time going into the store.

I quickly decided that Ruth was the safer bet, "actually there's a book I want to look at," I said before jumping out of the car.

Once inside I carefully wound my way through the bookstore in an attempt to avoid my cousin's line of sight while staying in earshot of her.  She seemed to be looking for something specific because she made a beeline to informational books on plants and pulled a piece of paper with writing on it out of her pocket.  Someone came over to help her and she shooed them away with assurances she was just browsing.  Then she began pulling books from the shelves and comparing them to the note she had.  I was so caught up in this interaction that I didn't notice someone coming up behind me.

"Can I help you find something?" a voice said a little too loudly behind me.  I saw Ruth turn and see me before I turned to face the associate.

They were about my age with a shaggy hair cut in a mousy brown color and I had to look up slightly to meet their eyes.  "No, I'm just searching," I said.

"Oh ok.  For anything specifically?"  

"Not really," I said, letting the frustration into my voie and wondering why they weren't getting the hint.

"Maybe I could recommend something," they offered, and I could feel Ruth's eyes on me.  In a split decision to make my adventure into the bookstore seem more believable I decided to agree.