Deceitful Marriage

Chapter 11

     Death is a beautiful thing. I'm in the middle of the forest surrounded by tall trees with pink flowers blooming. My body is laying on the soft grass staring up at the bright blue sky. Everything here is so wonderful I think I'm going to cry. Why am I here? I don't deserve to be in a place like this.

"Honey..." A sweet voice whispers to me and I turn my head to find my mom sitting beside me. She still looks the same after all these years with her long brown hair and hazel eyes.

"Mom," I sit up and she brings me into her arms. It has to be the warmest embrace I've felt in a long time.

"You can't be here. Not yet." She pulls me away, "Jasper needs you."

"He doesn't need me. He deserves someone better than me. I can finally be with you."

"No, he does need you. He's just in pain right now. If he ends your life, he'll do the same to himself."

My heart stops. "No, he can't do that to himself."

"Then wake up and stop him."

"But—"

She suddenly grabs both of my shoulders and harshly shakes my body. "Wake up! Don't give up!"

His voice is echoing around me. He's screaming my name and sobbing uncontrollably while clenching onto my limp body. "Please wake up! I didn't mean to! Please! Serina! I'm sorry!"

My senses are soon returning to me and my eyes slowly open to Jasper's warm chest. His arms are clenching my body to him and with all of my strength, I reach up to touch his cheek. He pulls away in complete shock as he stares down at me, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"S-sorry," is all I can manage to rasp out from my burning throat. I sit up from his lap and tightly hug him. Too many tears have been spilled so none come out from my eyes nor his. We just hug each other in silence and it has to be one of the saddest things I've ever experienced. I have no idea how long we stay like this, but Jasper picks me up and brings us into the bathroom. We slip out of our clothes and enter the steaming water bouncing off our skin. My throat throbs in pain, but I put up with it as Jasper hugs me again and we stay under the stream of water for a moment. I think we both needed this shower—to cleanse off all of our built-up sadness and anger.

"Let me see your throat."

We step away from the shower head and I raise my chin for him to inspect my throat. His fingers gently touch my skin and I flinch in slight pain.

He grimaces, "I'm sorry."

I shake my head, "I d-deserved it."

"No, you didn't and don't speak so much. Your vocal cords could have been damaged."

"What are w-we going to do now?"

"Sleep. We both need it. I'll still sleep in the—"

"No," I grip his arm, "Please don't leave me alone."

"Okay," he sounds unsure about it but doesn't argue any further as we finish up and head into bed. All the lights are turned off as my hands wrap around his torso and he places his chin on my head, bringing me closer. I feel like it's been so long since we've slept together. I missed it. I missed him. I missed his arms, his warmth, his smell. Everything about him. Now that all of my memories are back, I can now appreciate all of the times we spent together. I feel like myself, but at the same time, I feel so different. Like viewing the world with a different set of eyes. No more red. No more hatred. No more jealousy. All the bad things about myself have been washed away. Blown into the dark sea.

"I want to stop," he whispers so lowly that I was close to not hearing him.

"Stop what?"

"Murdering people."