LEVEL RED

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My retreat of a hotel is over an hour from the track, but that's fine by me because it's the perfect excuse to avoid anything besides required work this week

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My retreat of a hotel is over an hour from the track, but that's fine by me because it's the perfect excuse to avoid anything besides required work this week. After what happened in Japan I'd thought it felt like I was barely hanging on but this is somehow beyond worse. All week all I can manage is the bare minimum, resulting in jeans and a white tee for my race day outfit. At least I added heels right?

It's enough to worry Lance. To his credit I have been off, but I think it's mostly the lack of sleep. After fifteen hours of sleep after landing in Hungary the clock may have said it was four am but my body didn't know it. More importantly, my brain didn't. My mind was suddenly awake with all kinds of ideas and words begging to pour out of me.

So without a plan or even an outline, I started to write.

Since then it's impossible to stop.

Race day wraps with a winners come out to be Max, Charles, Daniel and two shy of podium my brother. Everyone is happy and glowing, ready to party off the weeks hard work.Well, not me. I'm fully hibernating just as I have all week, treating myself to wine in the bath tonight. Carmen tried to beg me to come tonight so we could discuss the Amelia's hen do but we all know the between Charles, the boat and the planner those details were nailed down weeks ago.

 Just before I can sink into the bubble bath to resume writing, there's a knock at more door.

"Nope, you're coming with me." Amelia insists the second she lays eyes on me in the hotel robe.

Out out?

Out where I could run into Max?

I don't think so.

Slowly swallowing, "I can't."

Elsa rounds the corner in an unexpected tag team "You can. We have to get you out of here."

"I'm picking a dress!" Amelia demands, letting themselves in.

"Feel free to borrow it because I'm not coming." I sing out, following behind.

Elsa whacks me with a water bottle from behind just as I sit in the bed.

"You hit me," Stating the obvious.

"You needed it. You haven't worn anything but jeans this week and honestly it's scaring me. Life is too short to wear boring clothes and skip the chance to dance at parties. Fuck him, fuck the press, fuck the entire rest of the world, come have fun with us tonight."

Damn, she should get a second job in motivational talks.

Blinking a dew times, I process and realize she's totally right.

"You're right, just let me fix my hair." Rubbing my hand over my forehead.

"Thank fuck. Now hurry! I'm going to pour shots." Amelia claps in approval.

Standing I laugh with them, surrendering to the evening. Honestly it feels freeing, not worrying what anyone thinks again for a change and just relaxing with my friends. With each passing dance and smile it feels like a little piece of me heals so it takes forever to pry me off the dance floor. We dance for hours, soaking up the evening together.

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