A Girl Can Hope

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By the time five days pass and Max is boarding his jet for the Vegas Grand Prix, I'm at his side

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By the time five days pass and Max is boarding his jet for the Vegas Grand Prix, I'm at his side.

New York was really what we needed, a perfect few days away to forget the outside world that's usually so loud in favor of our love that's far more quiet.

Anyone can get lost in New York no matter how famous you are, something I proved true to Max on his sweet visit. In the Formula One paddock, not so much. When he asked me to join him the idea of parting seemed far too hard, outweighing my memories of race weekend mania.

Reality comes for me the second we get within five miles of the track there's a cocktail of press, fans, and staff lining the roads. We're all jammed in here with one goal: a day of racing.

I'm uncharacteristically silent from the nerves once we our car is surrounded by the familiar constant flash of waves, signs and camera's. We have a police escort because Max is so damn valuable this weekend, still with his hand in mine my stomach is fucking swirling.

Could I be so nervous my stomach is upset? That's really not like me... So I must have ate something weird. With all the traveling I've been doing there's no real way to tell. Unable to push the uneasy feeling away I tug on my dutchman's hand, pulling his attention back to me rather than out the window. "I know I'm the picture of confidence," I say "But I'm going to tell you, right now I'm so nervous I'm nearly ill."

His light eyebrows knit together in concern, instantly starting to rub a comforting thumb over my knuckles, "Alright love?"

Actually I can't believe myself.

Max is the one who has to drive today, push a car on the limit yet here I am quaking in my boots of the press or bumping into my father? Come on Cat, you can do better than this.

Shoulder back, deep breathe in I force myself to steady myself forcing it away the way I've been so expertly taught. I'm done worrying about this now, I'll just take it as I face it. On the chin, this is fucking me... let them see. I'm moving on. "Don't take a page out of my book," Max catches me off guard meeting my eyes "Forcing it down isn't healthy."

"You're one to talk." Throwing walls up with every word I disguise it with a teasing smirk.

Not having, Max reaches across the back row to me run a comforting thumb across my cheek now. "True I'm no expert," Max smiles with a soft reassurance, "Just know you can talk to me."

He's so fucking perfect for me. The man is gentle at every turn, rubbing out the hard edges I've been sharpening for years now the same way I do for him. Forcing myself to jump off the ledge of trust I smash the walls I'd quick patched together away "I'm nervous. What if people don't like me now that they know? What if my Dad flips out? What if- well, I don't want to be... distraction to you."

Because either way I've fallen, no turning back.

"Well love, with your ass in those jeans I can't look away," planting a soft kiss against my lips that turns to laughing into his mouth "Don't worry about me. I'm only teasing, can't even see you from the car. I have a bit of experience driving you know?"

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