That Makes Two Of Us

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I knew it was my fucking fault

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I knew it was my fucking fault.

Ever since we got off the plane in Japan for our separate cars, things have shifted between Max and I. A week in country and not a single night together yet. I know I wasn't the sweetest to his Dad but honestly I think that was well called for.

No matter because I'm still being iced out.

He didn't place well, didn't even have a podium today. The entire paddock is abuzz about it and if this will be the start of Max's downfall. He won't say it, but we both know it. Max said he didn't believe in bad luck and I don't know the man to be a coward so I'm fucking fighting with my rational mind to take him at his word.

His word that doesn't match his actions.

At least Japan is beautiful.

The city sparkles at night, so I wear some too with my bravest smile and say hello to all my friends at the party after arriving alone. Pasting on a grin like I'm not on the edge of the knife.

I've spoken to the girls about it but non of us can get a read of Max lately. He's withdrawn from everyone including myself. Hell he's not even at the party.

He may not show at all.

The girls say it's just a phase and there's nothing to worry about. Maybe he's just too focused on racing or dealing with things after traveling home.

My heart knows differently.

When he walks in the room I don't have to look to know. My heart starts to pitter patter a little faster, my throat goes dry and I know he's near. Immediately my body stills unsure of what to do.

Fight or flight and all that shit.

Hence why I now need a swift exit, "I'm dying for a smoke. Grab you when I'm done?" I squeeze Elsa's arm and beeline for the porch. She gives me a knowing look but doesn't dare try and stop me.

She knows I'm hurting.

Just as well as she knows why.

We don't need to say it. Escaping to some solace for a bit I drop into a chair pulling out my favorite form of stress relief.

The second the door clicks open again behind me I know I made a mistake.

"Evening beautiful." Max drops down into the chair across from me instead of the one beside me like he'd usually pick. He studies me and the second our eyes connect I sense something is off.

"Long time no see." I say, but we don't hug. Don't even attempt to touch.

"I think we should talk." He says, a swift change of topic. He looks away from me and his entire demeanor changes. He's stiff, pulling on the back of his neck.

"Okay." I exhale the smoke and watch it float into the air, waiting to see how this shakes out.

Something tell's me I'm not going to like how this conversation ends.

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