Who You Love (Katy Perry/John Mayer Fanfiction)

Chapter One: The End of An Era

I was exhausted. Mentally and physically drained.

I shuffled my feet backstage, barely keeping my eyes open. The flight from this country to the next and so forth was getting to me. I couldn't sleep, and when I did, my thoughts kept me awake. I couldn't let go of the feeling of loneliness. There could be so many people around me, yet I couldn't shake this feeling of being depressed away. I was missing something, but I didn't know what. Was it my friends? My family? It felt deeper than that. It felt almost as if a part of my life isn't there, but yet I, with my career, had built myself to have the whole world at my fingertips.

This tour, though not to the emotional extent of my previous California Dreams Tour, has been a nightmare. A nightmare of battling my inner demons and my inner thoughts. I had my fans, my friends, my family... Someone telling me how much they loved me nearly every minute of the day, whether it was personally or on social media. But none of that mattered to me anymore... Because I started thinking of him.

I'd just finished the last show of the Australasian leg of my tour. I felt so many emotions going back to my dressing room.... Excitement, adrenaline, this absolute feeling of accomplishment knowing I get to do what I love for a living. My dresser quickly loosened the skirt, the final costume used in the show, from my waist, leaving me only in my pantsuit underneath.

Todd appeared beside me, brushing a new set of powder onto my face and a new layer of pink lipgloss on my lips, telling me things I didn't hear. I couldn't hear him even if I wanted to, my mind just kept going over and over. Tamra's mouth was moving, Todd's mouth, Johnny... All telling me things I'm assuming I've probably heard a million times before. 'You're amazing, Katy,' 'That was your best performance to date,' 'You are an absolute star'... Blah blah blah. I didn't feel like a star. I felt like shit despite my adrenaline rush from finishing the show. I managed to plaster a smile on my face and nodded toward Tamra, who was waiting beside my dressing room door.

'Let's go Perry, we are running twenty minutes behind schedule, we need to meet these people and get you to the hotel for some sleep before you fly out". Tamra said, her hand gently placed on my back as she led me to the designated meet and greet room.

I walked in, greeted by a cheer. A genuine smile appeared on my face, which grew bigger when I saw family - Mom, Dad and David, waiting with my bodyguards over near my exit point - my sister Angela back in the States with her new baby.

One by one, I met all of the KatyCats. Some I recognised, some new faces. I didn't care - I enjoy every minute spent with these people. There's nothing that makes my heart feel as full as it does when I hear someone say I, or my music, saved them in some way. Because I can relate - I've been there, though I hate to dwell on that point in my past. I pose for photos, doing my usual routine. I lay my eyes on the final person in the room - a girl, of around 15 or so years old, a gorgeous little thing - blonde, petite, and wearing the cutest outfit I've ever seen.

'Hey there cutie, aren't you wearing looking adorbs,' I say as I wrap my arms around her, posing for the photo. 'You're lucky - you're the last person. That means you get to spend the most time with me, but don't let that go to your head!' I laugh, jokingly.

Her hands are shaking, and she looks nervous. I give her a hug. 'It's ok to be nervous, I know exactly how you must feel right now, I've been there before. This one time I met Gwen Stefani after her show, and man, I was crappin' balls!' She laughs before finally proceeding to tell me of my influence on my life. I've heard this before, so many times in fact, but this time she touches my heart completely. I wonder whether it's what she is saying, or its my mixed emotional state right now.

"... And, you truly have shown me that I have something to live for. That I have everything to live for. You've shown me strength. And I'm so thankful for you, because I don't know if I'd still be here without you."