It had been a week since the kiss with ray. Not a single text or call. He had been avoiding me all together, even in school. After the kiss he had smiled at me but his eyes looked troubled, he walked away without another word, nodding at me as he left, breaking eye contact. I was sat on my bed, my phone in my hand, my finger hovering over rays number. I let out a sigh, throwing my phone carelessly. I heard a smash and I looked up in shock. My phone had hit my dark oak framed mirror and the mirror shattered to prices on to the floor. I got up with a huff, storming over to the broken mirror. Wow, five years of bad luck if you smash a mirror. I picked up my phone, examining it. I put it in my pocket after ensuring it worked still. I ran to get a rubbish bag, and cautiously picked up a particularly sharp price of glass and dropped it in the bag, looking back at the remaining glass scattered on the floor. I grabbed a hand full without thinking and dropped it with a shriek as I felt a sharp pain in my hand. I swore loudly, looking down at my palm which had a jagged, triangular shard of glass protruding from it and was bleeding profusely. I pulled the glass out quickly with a wince.
★
I opened my eyes, seeing my blurry room in front of me- a tall figure was stood in front of me. I fumbled around trying to find my glasses , but to no avail. The figure came closer and I squinted, realizing it was ray just as he leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine. I closed my eyes, kissing back before opening my eyes. The kiss wasn't like the one from the previous week. Rays lips- they felt different. I jumped back as I saw romi in front of me smirking. I blinked three times and it was Jehanne. This process repeated, showing Anna, then Charlene and finally Elaine. The weird thing wasn't just the changing figures but all the people before me were pale and ghostly, and each of them had darker eyes than usual, and shockingly diluted pupils. Now the five of them (Elaine, ray, Charlene, Anna and romi) stood before me, in a line. I could still hardly see them because of my blurry vision, but I saw the glint as Elaine pulled out something sharp out of her pocket, an evil smirk on her face. I looked at the matalic object to see with horror a knife clutched in her paler than usual palms. I looked around fearfully as all of them pulled out knives, circling me with equally malicious smirks. They all lunged towards me , stabbing me in the heart and as I screamed , I woke up. I was covered in sweat and I had dry tears on my face. It was dark outside and my phone was grasped in my sweaty palms, my glasses askew on my face. I was fully dressed, lying on my bed , and after straightening my glasses and waiting for my eyes to focus I casted a glance towards my alarm clock on my bedside table. It was 3 am.
I wiped my eyes, annoyed that I had been crying because of something as stupid as a dream, though deep down I knew it was more to do with ray than the dream itself. I typed in my password for my phone , clicking on Facebook, realizing that I probably wouldn't be going back to sleep. I scrolled through my news feed, stopping as I saw jehannes relationship status as single. I texted her to make sure she was ok and then realized it was only 3.15am and she was obviously sleeping.
★★
I had stayed awake and when I was sure Jehanne would be awake I put on my black converses, saying good bye to my m and brothers hurriedly as I walked out of the door. When I got to jehannes' she answered almost immediately as if she had been expecting me. “hey nal what's up!" She said with a yawn. Wow she was acting completely fine. Guess she handles things way better than me, as I'm torn up about a person I haven't even had a relationship with and have only kissed once. “hey jay you alright?" She rolled her eyes as I shortened her name- she hated Jehanne, but being called Jay was a males name apparently.. “im fine nala. Why wouldn't I be?" “because you and skye-" “oh uh yeah.. that. I'm fine nal, really." I looked at her skeptically. “bsfe promise?" She chuckled. Bsfe stood for best sisters for ever, we had made up the bsfe promise when we were about nine. It basically meant we were sworn to honesty. Even now we took it seriously. Jehanne sighed “fine, no I'm not." She gave me a sad smile. “want a hug?" She nodded. While we were hugging I mumbled “what happened and she sniffed, looking like she was going to cry. She hated crying , she'd only ever cried in front of me once. “no I don't wanna talk about it yet.. Fucking asshole he is.. " “i knew he was no good right from the start" I said darkly and she rolled her eyes “yeah yeah, I know you were right , I was wrong-" “actually, I was hoping I'd be wrong." She wiped her eyes, looking over at me with a fake smile. “as I said, let's not talk about it. Changing the subject, what's new with you and ray?" I fiddled with my hands as she eyed me skeptically with an eyebrow raised. Crap. I hadn't told her about the kiss.
★★★
“what was it like?!"
“uhm. It was.. Nice?"
Jehanne glared at me, shaking her head “nice? Nice?!" “um it was great. I don't know, he's been ignoring me ever since but I don't really-" “ignoring you? What the hell?! You NEED to call him." “yeah I guess but... I.." “he could be worried you won't like him anymore, he's already had a lot of shit , what, with the whole transgender thing- his friends are barley speaking to him anymore." I nodded, anger boiling in the pit at my stomach. His friends weren't real friends then. I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to stay calm. “you get so defensive nal" “oh! I have an idea!" “oh god.. What is it?" I said with exasperation. “ray is singing in the once in a lifetime pub later, we should go, then hang out with him." I wanted to say it was a stupid idea but I couldn't help the way my heart began to race when I thought of ray. Not that Jehanne knew that though. “i don't think that's a good idea.." She rolled her eyes “nal, I can see it in your eyes. You want to go. " damn, that's right. She's my best friend of course she knows I wanted to see ray. “fine. But what time?" “half six. Till then, you wanna watch a film? I have popcorn!"
“ok. You choose a film then, I don't care." She nodded, rifling through her film folder. “ooh how about Angus thongs and perfect snogging?" I nodded. Sure it was a little childish but maybe it would take my mind off of ray , for at least a second.
★★★★
Me and Jehanne had decided to get “dressed up" to go out. She said it was to make ray notice me more, not that I needed it. So, at six fifteen, we left jehannes house wearing eyeliner and mascara, Jehanne dressed in a batman tank top with light blue skinny jeans and black converses, and me dressed in a red checkered shirt with black jeans. We had already drank before we left, but not enough to be tipsy, just enough to make me be able to see ray without panicking. We walked into the square, past the clock tower and the chippy. We got to the one in a lifetime pub and the smell of alcohol hit me in the face as we entered. Music was playing loudly, and heavily intoxicated people were slurring the lyrics to a song that a boy and a girl were singing on stage. “You're love's a permanent distraction, a perfect interaction
a feeling so extreme
I lost my appetite to eat, and I barely get to sleep
Cause you're even in my dreams " the boy on stage was tapping his feet to the rhythm, and the girl was clapping her hands happily. They were only about thirteen and nothing special but they were entertainment all the same. Stop complaining nala, you're only complaining because it doesn't matter who's on stage, its not ray so its not what you want to hear. The music stopped and the girl and boy clasped hands, bowing as the audience clapped whole heatedly, swigging drinks and cheering. How are people drunk at this time? A middle-aged man with stubble walked on stage with a microphone. A few teenagers booed half heartedly and the man chuckled “ don't worry folks, I'm not stopping your entertainment, just a quick announcement- I've been told to give Maddie banks a message- Derek said will you marry him?" A few people cheered and clinked glasses. Wow, classy, proposal when drunk.. “and now- rayhannah heasley!" I focused on the dimly lit stage in anticipation.
★★★★★
