XII

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I reopened my eyes, That feeling in  my gut not leaving me. I placed my hand on my heart, it was being so fast. I put back the cigarette on the dish in the floor and sat there. Looking at the balcony .My hands trembling, I lit another cigarette, It was already eleven past thirty.

''Where was she'' , I wondered....I could feel so much emotions...i Could not feel myself....was i having an anxiety attack. I inhale the cigarette, closing my eyes ,looking at the ceiling.

I am thinking of her posts;How on every post, she described how she felt, where she felt it, in what orifice they did it and how she enjoyed herself...more than when she was with me. I put the half lit cigarette on the dish both of my hands on my eyes...I could feel them becoming hotter and hotter.

I tried to catch my breath and found it hard to breath. My thoughts only on her, My honey sweetheart. She described her partner's genitals in details and commented on the size of it, and how she would like it better.....Writing about all the places she hooked up with people....with useful tips and ways to do it......

I could not believe she did it in our bedroom...with a ..motherfucking man named Jonathan..

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