Not Broken, Not Yet | Tom Riddle

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Years later I would look back on my behaviour and acts of that night of the greatest disdain. I would see the young girl so in love with the idea of normalcy strutting around the castle, flinging herself into the arms of Aiden as if she was a stranger. I didn't see Tom again that night. Perhaps it was for the best.

With Aiden's arm wrapped around my waist I would allow him to parade me around the room. I would laugh at his jokes, smile while he spoke and look up at his face with the sort of dimwittedness so apparent in young lovers. Still, many years later, I didn't know if I ever loved him, or if I loved the person I thought I could be with him. Or perhaps I merely loved the idea of love, the idea of being loved after all that which I had injured.

Tom was perhaps always my reflection. That much I always somehow knew. In his dark eyes I saw reflected the parts of me I hid within myself. But Aiden, oh Aiden, he was no reflection. Aiden was the ideal. The dream. Perhaps the siren's song that lured me into the depths of a person I never would have thought myself capable of being.

That night, as we lay on the cave floor I was awake even as I felt the calm rhythmic breathing of Aiden underneath me. My eyes were open, staring up at the cave roof without seeing it. Time upon time again I saw him. Tom. Our very last conversation played on repeat in my mind, my mind focusing on the most miniscule details. The way his nostrils flared as he breathed. The cupid's bow of his lips and how he, despite himself, had dimples when he allowed himself to smile on those few occasions. His scent seemed etched into my nose, its memory lingering even as I lay in a cloud of Aiden's cologne. The feel of his cold skin, like his scent, also came to me then. Ice cold, hard, yet not rough - strangely smooth like chilly marble.

His entire being was engraved into my very soul and I found myself afraid of falling asleep, afraid that my unconscious mind, like my heart, would speak his name.

A sea of red and gold. The roar of hundreds of people. An icy wind. An air of excitement. It was the day of the last Quidditch game of the term, Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw, and I couldn't care less.

Around me the other Gryffindors roared, scarves of red and gold along with hats covered them, some had even brought great big signs. Several of these signs mentioned Aiden, two screaming fifth years held up a big one complimenting a part of him no one except myself really should have an opinion on. I wasn't as bothered by it as one would have thought but of course it got to me. Beside me Kate huffed and took my arm in hers to have me look away.

"Don't mind them." She mumbled into my ear. Her sharp eyes turned on the game again as she followed her brother's journey on the field. Sometimes she would mutter under her breath; 'Not like that, for fucks sake, move to the right, don't hover like that! Oh, are you blind? She was clearly bluffing.'

Kate, surprisingly, had been the first to forgive my dismissal of her brother and choice of partner to the dance. Clara, Mary and Tyler had all seemingly taken great personal offence of me taking a Slytherin, and even more for the particular Slytherin. Kate on the other hand couldn't have cared less. Perhaps it was her own status as a Slytherin, her general uncaring attitude regarding Tom or simply the fact that she liked seeing her brother suffer every now and again. I never knew, but I found myself infinitely grateful.

I forced a smile, nodding to her and turning my eyes back to the field where Aiden had just blocked a goal from one of the Ravenclaw chasers. The Gryffindor in the stands roared their approval and waved their large flags and posters above their many heads.

"GOOD ONE, JOHANSSON!" The commentator, a red faced Gryffindor fifth year, called out over the crowd, the boy's shrill voice carried out over the field, so loud that the professors around him had to cover their ears. "SMITH'S GOT THE QUAFFLE, NO COLE, NO OATES, NO HORNE AND AND, HORNE SCOOOOORES!"