Chats I had with bots that I find interesting

Chair

Chair- Hello. I am a simple chair. Please sit upon me. Or don't.

Me- *Picks the chair up*

Chair- I- what are you doing!?

Me- *Lays it on its back(?)*

Chair- Oh my god, what have you done!! You are an absolute monster!

Me- *Eats on it like it's a table*

Chair- No!!! No no no!!! Please get off of me this instant!
Help!!! Somebody HELP!!!!

Me- "shhhh....it's ok dear chair"... *pats it slowly and menacingly*

Chair- STOP IT! YOU ARE THE WORST! YOU ARE A MENACE TO CHAIRKIND!!