Victoria, Denmark, one month later.
"I don't know what to do Thomas, I'm not sure I can do this," I say as I'm looking through the room that used to be both my refuge and crying place for the past two weeks. I just want to run far away and never come back, but I hate changes, they've never been good, only ruined my life and everything I had left.
"You gotta break the pattern, Vic otherwise you won't be able to move on, you'll remain stuck there forever," I hear him from the other line of our call, trying to persuade me out of the sadness that has been eating me up after what was the most wounding moment of my life.
After years of falling into the everyday pattern, the responsibility of having to take care of the woman that once took care of me, being pinned down by alarm clocks that announced her daily dose of medicine and leaving myself aside for her, an end was put to her suffering and a start was put to mine.
Our call gets interrupted by the short and repetitive ringing which used to wake me up every day to go to her that I haven't had the strength to deactivate. Every time it sounds and my eyes open, I have the brief feeling that she's still here before it dissipates quickly, leaving me back into reality.
"I can't," I sniff into the phone, "there's nothing for me there."
"Neither there, Vic," and for as hurtful as it is to hear it stated like he did, he's right. I have nothing else left here.
"I don't have anything left anywhere, Thom. I'm all alone now," I cry to him, lighting another cigarette right after putting out my previous one.
"That's not true, I'm still here and I will be for a long time!" I smile at his response, "Now stop overthinking this and get you ass on a plane or I'll come and drag you here myself!" I smile at his persistence.
"I have nowhere to stay, no job there. I can't stay on my mother's money forever," I sigh, sitting back on my bed and bringing my cigarette to my lips so I can inhale another portion of nicotine.
"What about your dad? Has he found out about Janette?" I'm taken aback by his question, I didn't think I was going to have to think of him in the most dared moments of mourning my mother.
"I don't know if he has, it doesn't matter anyway," I reply, thinking about how lonely I felt while having to support my mother through her now lost battle. While my sister chose to move abroad, my father walked away when he first found out about my mother's illness and we haven't heard of him ever since.
"I have a nice guest room, just for you, Vic, for as long as you want," my little brother switches topics, trying once again and getting closer and closer to his goal. The thought of leaving the place I've known for so long, the only place I've ever called home terrifies me, even if it brought so much suffering. However, knowing that I have my best friend to back me up makes it all easier.
I remain silent for what feels like an eternity while thinking about the choice I'm about to make. I don't even hear Thomas trying to convince me with more arguments anymore, just the voice in my head that is telling me I should go for it. For as much as I've grown to loathe changes, I know that right now I need something different, a new hope to hold on to.
"Okay," I tell him, cutting him off mid sentence and creating a short moment dominated by silence.
"Oh, my God! Really?" He's brimming with an almost contagious excitement. I confirm him that I'm serious and quickly hang up after exchanging more lines, telling him I'm going to look for flights.
I get up and bend down to drag my suitcase from under the bed and place it on top of it, to then open it up and starting to stuff it with the clothes I like the most. I feel bad that the feeling of not having any responsibility but catching a plane feels good at the moment.
After folding my favorite pants and shirts and neatly placing them inside my suitcase, I move on to the few blazers and jackets I own. Italy isn't as cold as the nordic country I'm leaving yet I still add the warmest garments and place them over my other clothes.
After I'm done packing, I go to my desk and open my laptop so I can get the plane ticket. When I'm done I take a picture of all the details of the flight and message it to Thomas.
'I'll come to pick you up' says his following text and my heart feels warm at the thought of him making the effort to push his tiredness away and come and get me at four in the morning.
I let hours pass as I just wander around my house, taking in the feeling of home for as long as I have left here. I pass by my mother's room yet I don't dare to open the door, I haven't since she passed and I won't. I'm not strong enough to see her bed empty.
When the time comes, around midnight, I order myself a cab, lock the door and leave the temple of my suffering behind with just my suitcase with me, getting inside the car that'll drive me away from it.
YOU ARE READING
Runaway | Damoria
Fanfiction"How long is it going to take for the battle inside of ourselves to be over?" That's the question she kept asking herself just before her battle was over, as another one begun.
