Victoria, Rome, late February, 2022
8:15PM
Several days pass, days where the heavy darkness that has been following me for the past weeks has caught me and sank me even deeper than I thought. I spent years when my purpose in life had changed, what I aimed for, my passions and goals had to be put on hold so I could take care of the woman who gave me life, I had been convinced that I owed it to her. The chapter that was about myself in the story I was living never existed, I put my needs aside, everything about me was forgotten for that period of time. Now that she's gone, finding myself again has been harder than I expected, my actions are still resumed to those that belong to a machine, programmed to do everything automatically, living with no goals or purpose, numbly.
I get out of my room for what seems like the first time in days, only when I know Thomas is away. I've been trying to avoid him, not wanting to transmit my sad state to my best friend too. I know he's worried and that all he wants to do is to help me, yet I've been selfish enough to give up and let myself fall down this endless pit of intrusive thoughts, not accepting his good intentions for now.
I look around the apartment and spot the landscape that's visible from the big living room's windows, the dawn has already fallen over the city's skies and I'm tempted to go and wander around the place I used to call home years ago.
I go to my closet and choose some black trousers, a white tank top and I put my boots on, before heading to the door, grabbing my coat and throwing it over myself too, bringing it close to wrap around my torso. I take my bag and leave the apartment, closing the door after myself.
The sharp wind cuts through the air, making the cold more and more present after each moment that passes. I walk almost lifelessly through the city that used to be the dearest to my heart, noticing how everything has changed over the years of my absence. I pass by the store where my father bought me my first bass, giving wings to a passion that's now faded away, along with the memories that include him.
Music used to be the only thing to give me shelter, I had found my call playing the bass, making a duo with my best friend who played his guitar like a true rockstar. I wished to step onto the biggest stages in the world, but every wish I had had to disappear, I dreamed until I stopped dreaming.
I keep on walking, remembering all the moments that have led me here, smoking in tranquility until I spot a bar and I impulsively decide to get in and have a drink. I go inside and sit on a black stool at the bar, ordering myself a glass of liquor. The waiter smiles at me and starts to prepare it, meanwhile, I turn my head to look around the place. When I have my alcohol in front of me, I chug down half of it and place the glass back down.
"Looks like you finally decided to get out of your cave," I hear from behind me and curse under my breath, turning around only to find Damiano's gaze fixated on me.
I roll my eyes "Here you are again," I say sighing at the fact that he's been to every place I went to until now.
"You could say I'm your guardian angel," he winks at me with a smirk spread on his lips, which makes me let out a dry chuckle full of sarcasm.
"I think I'm good protecting myself," I turn back around and focus on the glass in front of me, his presence still behind me.
In reality, I'm glad that his attitude hasn't changed towards me because of what he saw the other night, I'm happy that my past isn't a factor of influence in someone's behavior, even if it's him.
I finish my drink, chugging the rest of it down and order a second one, ignoring the memory of him from just a few moments ago. It doesn't last much in my mind, because it gets interrupted by his voice again.
"Listen-" says him with a low tone, making me turn my look towards him again, this time in slight annoyance.
"Damiano, I'm not in the mood," I cut him off harshly, "Keep your therapy and the spiritual awakening that sex with prostitutes brought you for yourself, I don't want to hear it right now," I fuel him and drink the liquid from my second glass quickly, before leaving a ten euro bill on the bar and fleeing from that spot as fast as I can.
I realize that luck isn't on my side when he's suddenly walking besides me, so I dart to give him a killer look, "Really?" I ask almost in disbelief.
"We live in the same building, remember?" Says him pulling a cigarette out of a Malboro pack, offering me one as well, which after not much though I accept. He lights his and then mine too, and we walk in silence for some moments. I wasn't even planning on going home until later on, yet I decide to remain in his company, not my wisest choice
"I'm sorry for ruining your attempt to drink your problems away," says him bluntly out of nowhere, irony filling his tone.
I'm left taken aback by his straightforwardness, offended by the fact that he could read my intentions so well, disappointed at my own self for not doing a better job as the pretender that I thought I were. I don't give him a response right away, yet I don't let him win.
"If this is your way of flirting, you're doing a terrible job," I tell him in honesty, laughing softly.
"Who said I was flirting?" Asks him with arrogance.
"And who said I was drinking my problems away?" I respond with a question myself too, not thinking of the fact that I'm probably more obvious than he is.
He remains in silence at my questionable denial, walking beside me on the streets of a dark, almost empty Rome.
"Where's Thomas?" I ask him suddenly, breaking the heavy silence what was falling upon us. It probably seems funny to him, or it might add more to his guesses about the fact that I do have a problem by not knowing where my roommate is.
"He met someone at the club the other night," starts him and a feeling of guilt washes over me, "I think he's having a date or something," finishes him, through cigarette puffs. I instantly feel bad, I haven't been present enough for my best friend to share such important things with me, I was blinded by my own self.
"Oh," I say almost too quietly for him to hear and look down in disappointment. Damiano looks intrigued by the fact that I didn't know that information, yet I let it slip with no further explanations.
We arrive at our building after what felt like the longest walk, and he holds the door for me, while I mumble a "thank you". I move on to the elevator and press the button to call it, and just as it arrives, its doors opening, I find myself an opportunity to mess with Damiano a little as he was distracted on his phone while waiting. When I get inside, I quickly press the button that corresponds to my floor and wave at my walk partner with a smirk when he notices that the doors are closing in front of is eyes, now stuck on the lobby.
YOU ARE READING
Runaway | Damoria
Fanfiction"How long is it going to take for the battle inside of ourselves to be over?" That's the question she kept asking herself just before her battle was over, as another one begun.
