Victoria
"I can't," I refrain, pushing him away from me, once I gather together all the pieces of myself that had dropped when I fell apart to the intensity of my damaged feelings.
"I don't understand," he trails off, confused as I look away.
"There's nothing to understand. I made a mistake, I shouldn't have called you," I rush to erase the drops of sadness falling down my cheeks, "I think you should go," I finish quietly, seeing disappointment spread all over his face.
And so he does. Without another attempt to try, he scoffs in frustration, opening the car door to then get off and close it behind him with a loud thud, making me flinch at the strong impact.
And when I'm alone again, I get mad at myself for having left someone whose heart wasn't open to me enter and ravish my senses to the point of no return, for giving in so fast to what my vulnerability was asking for, craving the love that I may never feel.
~
The next morning the sun appears to be rising slower than usual, as the past night was soaked in sorrow, tormenting my soul.
I get out of bed. My legs hard, seemingly pushing me deeper into the ground than I should be, as I walk slowly, trying to shake off the remains of tiredness which still linger onto my body, enveloping it in a thick heavy blanket.
When I reach the kitchen, I use my poor brewing knowledge to make some coffee, a task which Thomas had been covering up until now, and while I light up a cigarette, I stop to take in all of the recent events.
My mind is blank. I'm unable to escape the spiral which has been clouding my mind for the night. And, even so, all of these seem to be actually deepen me in a strange trance of complete calmness — an illusion my brain is fooling me into for reasons yet unknown.
As expected, the first person that I think of is him and the relentless tug of war that has been happening between us since day one; how nothing adds up, everything is like a puzzle impossible to solve.
The key's sound turning inside the lock interrupts my train of thoughts, making me turn around and catch Thomas entering the apartment.
"What an early bird," he jokes smiling as he approaches me to leave a kiss on my cheek and I chuckle at his comment.
"What makes you think I made it to bed in the first place?" I reply with a wink, getting a soft laughter in response, while I pour the freshly made coffee into two cups.
We make our way to the living room and sit on the couch while he tells me everything about his night with his date, his eyes sparkling with joy.
"By the way, turns out we were right about Damiano," he bursts mid conversation, filled with anticipation.
"What do you mean?" I ask him, despite not having the strength to think about him again.
"He is definitely hiding something, Ethan told me," he starts, "they used to have a friend in common and there were some sketchy things going on with them, I think Dam was involved too."
"Can we please stop talking about him? I'm tired of the whole Damiano situation, Thom, it makes my head hurt," I sigh, frustrated at the contradiction between my heart and my mind. "I don't care anymore."
He doesn't listen to me, though, thinking his new intel is far more important than what I just asked him, "Vic, if it is what I think it is, he isn't okay," he alerts me, making my heart rate increase instantly.
The oxygen seems to leave my system and I gasp in shock when Thomas explains to me everything he found out and the pieces he put together. For as much as he's made me suffer, I can't bear the thought of him not being okay, my heart doesn't let me.
Ethan told Thomas he had known Giorgia from before, through a common friend they both used to share. All three used to go out every night, Damiano was madly in love with her when she got him hooked on drugs used all his love and good heart for her own greediness, she cheated on him countless times and spent all his money later on when she fell ill.
"I think he might be in trouble, Vic," he states quietly, worry gripping his voice as he takes another sip from his coffee.
Part of me wants to completely let go and forget about him, to convince myself that he's old enough to deal with his problems. I want to use all the pain his dismissal brought upon me to not care, to detach my heart from him. Yet I remember how I was on the brink of losing myself to my demons and got saved too, by the same sweet soul that's once again trying to do a good deed.
"He's a big boy, Thomas," I get up from the couch, with a sigh.
"You were a big girl too two years ago, you know," replies him bitterly, defending him, "he's my friend too. Don't be mean just because you didn't manage to get in bed with him," he finishes and I see regret spreading all over his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"No, I am. Save it," I mumble leaving the room, a wave of disappointment mixed with sadness washing over me.
I reach my room and get dressed in a heist, to then grab my jacket and leave, not saying another word nor giving another look to Thomas, closing the door after myself forcefully. Once I'm on the hallway, I stop to take a deep breath fighting the tears that gather in my eyes, the recent events weighing heavily on my shoulders, pushing my body's resistance to the edge.
"I'll tell everyone you killed him if you dare to leave!" I hear a female voice shout, followed by another loud thud of another door closing and I freeze when I realize it's Giorgia's, and I see the man whom I can't seen to escape, rushing down the stairs in anger, stopping in his tracks when he spots my presence.
YOU ARE READING
Runaway | Damoria
Fanfiction"How long is it going to take for the battle inside of ourselves to be over?" That's the question she kept asking herself just before her battle was over, as another one begun.
