Montergo Series II: No Way Home

KABANATA 7

“Antonio Xanti Ansaldo. Dead... ”

Is he my father?

Dahan-dahan lumubog ang aking sistema dahil sa aking nabasa.

“Walang ibang kamag-anak na mag-a-alaga sa ’yo kaya napunta ka dito matapos siyang mamatay... ” she explained calmly.

I took a deep breath. “Do... D-Do you knew where he was buried?” saad ko habang ang mga mata ko ay na sa files pa din.

“No.”

Mas lalong lumubog ang aking sistema sa kaniyang winika.

I was dropped here at the Orphanage when I was five. November One. Exactly at birthday. Weeks after my biological father died from a disease. Antonio Xanti Ansaldo. Wait... How about my mother?

I checked the files again but there's nothing written about my biological mother. It was blank.

“Uhm, how about my mother?” I ask hopefully.

Madame Francesca ached her brow. “Hindi ko alam. Pero kong ako sa ’yo huwag kanang umasang buhay ’yon. Dahil kong buhay nga iyon hindi ka sana mapupunta dito.”

She has a point. Dapat ay kinuha ang ng aking Ina noong namatay si Antonio Xanti Ansaldo, my father. So, I wouldn't have to endure all the bad things alone...

“May maitutulong pa ba ako sa ’yo?” Ngumiti ito ng peke.

I shook my head and walk out without any word. I walk to the empty hallway.

This is not what I'm picturing of what going to happen. I mean... Madame Francesca should give me the files, then I'll get my parents address. I'll knock to their door, and they would welcome me with hug's and kisses... Not this! This is not what I picture it!

I pulled my hair as I walk on the empty hallway.

Lumabas ako sa main door ng Orphanage at naglakad palapit sa gulong na ginawang swing. I silently sat to the swing.

The whole place is silent there's no sign of kids.

Tears slowly falling down on my rosy cheeks. I look up preventing my tears to fall down but my tears were to hardheaded. It falls as if there's no tomorrow.

I sobbed like a child. “W-Why can't I have family? ’Yon lang naman ang gusto ko, ah.” I look up to the cloud. “Pero bakit hirap na hirap kong ibigay sa akin ’yon? I didn't ask for anything but a family. I just want a family. I just want to be loved. T-That's all I want, that's all I ask.”

“G-Gano’n ba kahirap ibigay ’yon?” I bit my lower lip preventing myself to make any sounds.

This is so unfair. Hindi naman ako masamang tao, ah. Wala naman akong ina-apakang tao pero bakit ganito? Bakit ang unfair sa akin ng Mundo.

I hold the my cross pendant necklace tightly. I closed my eyes, and I prayed and prayed, praying that this is just a dream. Na nakatulog lang sa Condo at hindi pa ako pumunta sa Orphanage.

I stayed in that position for minutes but no. This isn't a dream.

Well, at least I wasn't abandoned. Alisha... she's wrong I'm not a reject. My parent just died, and my Mother she's probably dead too.

I pulled my hair again in a aggressive manner.

I don't know what to believe anymore. This place, the people, and the memories. This is so much to take in right now. I just... I need to leave this place.