Montergo Series II: No Way Home

KABANATA 22

Silence envelop between us. A glimpse of pain sparkle in Zechariah's eyes. The silence are too loud and with that I already know the answer.

“Why did she... do it?” I ask, hesitantly.

Zechariah look away and exhale sharply. His eyes start to become bloodshot.

My eyes soften as a stare into the side his autumn-hued eyes. I extended my arm and gently squeeze his hand.

Zechariah's eyes comeback to me. My mouth curved into a small smile. “It’s fine. You don't have to tell me... if you're not yet ready.”

His eyes dropped on my hold but it comeback to my eyes again. He sighed and placed his other hand on the top of my hand that was holding his.

“Margarita is one of the women I always look up to, with her fierce, bold, and strong personality, bewitched me. I have always viewed her that way, and I would like to remember her as such,” he whispered with a woeful voice.

I gently squeeze his hand.

“But... I just wish she had let me help during the times she needed someone, instead of dealing with it alone. She was always there for me when I needed someone, yet she didn't allow me to be there for her when she needed someone by her side.”

“I knew she blames herself to our sons death even though doesn't tell me. The look on her face every time she walk passed Ezekiel's room still haunted me. Those teary guilty eyes... ” he paused and lowered his eyes.

Curiosity sparkle in me. “Why? What happened to your son?”

“Abraham suspect Ezekiel died from choking on a milk that was feed by Margarita. The cause of death is  the accidental entry of milk into Ezekiel windpipe that blocked his airway. He was just an infant that time...” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “None of it is Margaritas fault; it was a tragic accident, but she believed otherwise.”

“A week after we cremated our son, I had to c-cremated my... wife next,” he said quietly through his shivering lips. His eyes sparkle with the tears that his holding back but it eventually falls. Gut-wrenthing sobs echoed throughout the room as Zechariah's eyes bleeds with pain that tore my heart. I immediately stand up and embrace him with a warm hug.

Zechariah sniffles as he buried his face on my neck. “A-And what's more devastating is Gamila witnessed her mother's... tragic decision to end her own life,” med'yo nahihirapang sabi nito dahil sa kaniyang paghihikbi.

My eyes widened. Was that the reason why Gamila lost her voice before?

I gently patted his back while his shoulder is shaking uncontrollably. I didn't say a thing because I know no word can comfort his broken heart but I hope a hug will do.

I firmly closed my eyes as I listen to his agonizing sobs. Every sounds that come out of his mouth is like a pin slowly inserting to my heart that sting endlessly. “How did you survived all of that?” hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.

A hint of pain injected on his chuckled. “I don't know either... ”

He broked our hug and faced me. A wave of pain washed over me when I vividly saw how bloodshot his eyes is. “I know the world is cruel, Xoana, but taking your own life won't make it less cruel... You may not be aware, but your existence, gentleness, kindness, and softness somehow make the world a little less cruel. We need you, and the world needs a person like you who allows us to see life through rose-colored glasses. With your gentle spirit, the world somehow becomes a better place.”

Every words that come out of his mouth soothes every part of me that aches. It's like a melody caressing my soul.

I extended my hand and reached his face that was all wet as his eyes shed his pain. I gently stroke his face to wipe his tear away. Zechariah's eyes narrowed as his hypnotizing eyes dropped on my lip's which makes me feel weak. I let go of his face and keep my hand on myself. I noticed how he's Adams apple move back and forth. My heart skip a beat when Zechariah closed the space between us, and claimed my waist that brings me more closer to him. His heavy deep breathes hit my nose that makes me forget how to breathe as he slowly lean forward to me. It was like my instinct told me to closed my eyes, so I did.