3. Blooms and Wilts

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Season 3, Episode 3: Blooms and Wilts

Nick felt he was a stream and his thoughts were the forgotten pebbles at the bottom

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Nick felt he was a stream and his thoughts were the forgotten pebbles at the bottom. He thought of nothing and felt every thing. The grass poking his back, the sun warming his chest, the fly zipping past his toes, the itty bitty dots of water sprinkling him when the breeze sung; he was flying with the birds above, he was crawling through the grass with the ants and worms, he was that animal he heard rustling in a bush, he was the fish that leapt and hurried for the ocean, he was the sky, he was the sun, he was the crushed grass a pair of feet padded on.

Warmth and softness settled on his chest — Bianca, the moon. He was her too. Late evenings her voice was meditative as they discussed plenty, and always, always, she led them to the topic of spirituality and reminded him they were the same.

"They're asleep." Bianca spoke gently, a chin to his chest as she gazed over him at their children.

He cracked an eye open and followed her gaze. Andrew and Misty slept, naked, just as their parents, in a little hut made of twigs and fallen branches, a thin sheet as their bed.

His eyes found Bianca's again. "As if they've worked every day of their short lives," Nick said.

She grinned. "They had a hard day of splashing in the stream and screaming."

Her hand slipped down his belly. He placed a hand over hers.

She cooed and laughed lightly. "What're you afraid of? It's natural."

Nick shut his eyes and moaned, "I can't."

A bird hummed.

"The kids," he said.

She told him to calm and kissed his belly.

Calm wasn't in his vocabulary. He was no longer the sky nor any creature live or inanimate, he was the earth spinning and spinning at a thousand miles an hour— No, no, a star! A twirling shooting star! A twirling shooting star he was afraid would burst as soon as her orb caught and reeled him.

And so it happened when her lips wrapped around him. If he knew the outcome he'd much prefer to finish too quickly instead of not at all. He simply disappeared into nothingness.

He sprung up and dressed to her soft songs of Hey, it's okay, Nick. Nick, sit, sit, it's ok.

Flustered and floating down from a high on weak grass, he was halfway back to Daniel's van when he realized he left his son and would have to do a shameful not-so walk of shame.

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