✓ if he was here - sequel

longing

     the next two days had passed. we were finally going into our classes, and of course, there wasn't much to look forward to.

every step i took, the more i felt like turning back. i really didn't want to go... this was the first time i felt strange about going to school because of a new class.

for some reason, i wasn't afraid that people wouldn't recognize me because of my appearance.

but instead, i was afraid that they would.

the things people would say. i already know enough to know that not everyone is like laundry boy.

some people are really cruel. they all have thoughts that run in the back of their heads that you wouldn't even want to know about.

but, i guess we are all like that.

as i stepped foot into school, i noticed all the first years talking to one another and getting all excited. everyone looked so cute...

i wonder what jungwon looked like during his first year. he was probably adorable...

i then let out a sigh. will i really get through the year if all i think about is him?

the grip on the strap of my messenger bag got tighter. why was i tearing up?

ah, this really was the worst.

he leaves me all alone. not a single sign of him, nothing that could tell me if he was dead or alive.

he was just gone.

just like that...

i finally took a deep breath and walked up to my class, which was on the third floor of the big building.

as i walked through the hallway, the other school building caught my eye from the window.

we were both once on that rooftop, sitting and chatting. we were both there when i chased after him.

and the events after that, i could only remember so much.

the name that i said for the first time. it happened on that day.

i brought my two fingers up to touch my lips, and that's when i looked down.

if you ever got the chance to kiss me again, i'd return that kiss with love.

if that chance ever comes...

i shook my thoughts away and looked back at the rooftop. i looked down at the building with all the windows of classrooms.

i wondered who was in his class back then... what kind of person he was. i wonder if he was the sleeper, or the one who would raise his hand—probably not though—he was definitely the type to slack off. the thought made me chuckle to myself. maybe in his first year, not so much.

before i could continue my thoughts, the first bell had just rung. i turned around and continued my path to finding my classroom (which i wasn't looking forward to)

when i finally reached the door, i stopped in front of the closed sliding door. i let out a deep breath to calm myself down. my eyes felt watery instead.

i really won't be able to get through the year if he's just gonna be stuck in my head the whole time.

i knew that, so why did i go?

what was the point in all of this?

if i thought that i could really do this by myself, then i was damn wrong...

i made up my mind, quickly turning to the side to go back home.

but someone had blocked my path.

"ah.." he said.

i slowly looked up. when met with that lavender necklace, my eyes widened.

i immediately looked up further. when i saw that stupid face, i finally broke my promise.

finally.

my hands made its way up to cover my face, but then i suddenly got reminded of all those months i spent in my bed, cursing out the world from taking him away from me. the frustrations had just come out at this moment.

i hit him weakly on his chest with my fist as if i was banging on a door. my voice was shaky, "i thought you were...!" i paused, my eyes widening. i hit him once more and sobbed again. "i thought you were dead..."

all he did was watch me in silence before he took a step forward and slowly brought me into a hug.

while i was trying to fight it, i suddenly heard his heart beat.

when my face met with his chest, i turned my head to the side and i could just hear it...

a short smile formed on his face. "...you broke your promise." he spoke.

my tears didn't stop there. instead, they just increased. i gripped onto his clothing, desperately trying to bring him closer as if he wasn't close enough.

i couldn't believe it.

he was stronger than ever.

and i was so happy.

"i did."

♡