U̶n̶dying love ~ Levi x Reader

Chapter 20

I stared down at the miserable piece of bread called breakfast. Not even water helped to get it down. Every time I tried to swallow it my throat seemed to close in on itself–twisting and contorting to keep the food away.

The message my body tried to send me was clear; you have more important things to focus on right now. And I couldn't help but agree.

My brain had been running on overdrive throughout the night–Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt being the center of it all. It went from reasons to why they would and wouldn't kill me–to imagining them doing it. Every time it was more gruesome, and it lasted all the way until the light shone through the window. My roommates–Mikasa and Sasha–were asleep the entire time, or were too polite to mention anything when they woke up to see me curled up into a ball on my bed. Although, the sounds I had made were far from low, and if they really hadn't noticed anything, the dark circles under my eyes couldn't go unnoticed.

I shifted around on the bench. At least it didn't make me want to linger. The hard surface dug into my already sore muscles, and if they weren't the only option for seating in the mess hall, I would have gladly sat on the floor. As weird as it sounds, the benches at the old hq were much more comfortable.

Other cadets ate and chatted all around me, but I didn't care to listen in on anyone. In fact, I deliberately focused on drowning out the voices, if only to gain a moment of peace.

However, I got interrupted.

"Are you really alright Y/n?" I woke up from my depressed state to see Armin observing me with a concerned expression. His blonde hair shone in the light from the windows, the glow giving him a halo.

He took a seat next to me, putting his tray on the table. "You look a little pale, and you're not eating," he said, reaching out to check my temperature.

I scotched back, shaking my head. He hesitated, but retracted his hand with his lips pressed together.

It's not like I was unwell, I just wasn't sure how to swallow everything I'd learned. Knowing you're living with your murderers isn't exactly something you get prepared to deal with. On top of that, we happened to be back where they actually tried to end me.

Overall, not that much of a pleasant situation.

I grabbed my bread, and I was about to have another go at it when another person at my table spoke:

"You looked off in training yesterday as well." The boy–Jean, shot me a meaningful look from across the table.

Both his forearms were on the table as he leaned in. His collar was uneven, but everything else looked as though he had spent a long time fixing. Typical him. No one else would bother; we were going to get messed up from training anyway.

His light-brown eyes searched mine, looking for any sign of recognition.

I swallowed. "You... saw that?" Warmth pooled at my cheeks. I was such an idiot.

I was sure no one had noticed, apart from Mikasa of course. I looked around me, but I suppose storming out of the training grounds wouldn't go unnoticed by everyone.

I forced some breakfast into my mouth, only to have something else to focus on.

Marco piped up from his seat beside Jean, his gold eyes round and sparkly like a puppy's: "Maybe you should go to the infirmary. I can go with you if you'd like." The freckles on his cheeks were pulled up as he smiled.

I choked on my bread– the sound making Armin put a supporting hand on my shoulder.

The infirmary was the last place I wanted to go. Even if I was sick I'd never willingly step into that place. Not with what I had just learned.