Can I Have That in Writing?

Emily: Confession, Part 1

I thought the worst day of my life was behind me. Yet again, I was proven wrong.

Anthony was the one who called me that horrible word. But he was also responsible for waking me up. It was precisely because I loved Riley that it hurt me so much, knowing she never wanted anything to do with me. But she did apologize without any excuses. She did care. She gave me time and space, just like I had asked.

In return, all I gave her was pain.

Now here I was in the principal's office. My voice was gone, so I had to try and write what had happened to the best of my ability. It happened so quickly. All I knew was that as soon as the words left Anthony's lips, Riley's energy grew sharp, like it did the day he approached us in the hallway. Then her fist flew into his face.

I froze in my seat. Anthony's head fell by the legs of my desk and chair. Riley struck his face again, and again. She was shouting a lot, but I couldn't write all of the words. I censored the swears with elipses, here and in the report.

"How dare you... say that to her?! Don't... say that word to her! I love her, you piece of...!"

Fresh tears pricked my eyes. She loved me? No, I must have heard wrong. Well, it wasn't impossible. She liked girls. But there was no way that she would like me. I wasn't special. I hurt her.

There was no way. Right?

Besides, it was my fault she was in here. If I hadn't been so slow to forgive, Anthony wouldn't have said the things he said. Riley wouldn't have punched him. And she wouldn't be sitting in front of me now, tapping her legs, wringing her hands, and hunched forward.

I remembered Allison's words from the first day I met Anthony. The first time I felt a twinge of fear when Riley grew serious.

"She was protecting you, that's all."

She shouldn't have had to. I deserved it.

Anthony sat next to her in front of Ms. Diamond's desk. I sat behind them, in the chairs along the wall. Allison was next to me. Her hand never left my shoulder.

Three people I didn't know entered the room. Two had dark brown hair. The woman ran to Riley immediately, asking what happened and if she was hurt. The man looked to her in concern, but also to the principal. Her parents.

The third person was a man with salt-and-pepper hair. He glared daggers at both Anthony and Ms. Diamond. I could only guess that he was Anthony's father.

At least I wasn't the only one who let their father down.

Apparently, my thoughts summoned him. I knew my father had arrived by his footsteps and the jingle of his keys. I could feel his eyes burning into me, but I couldn't bring myself to meet them. 

Ms. Diamond sighed and explained the situation. The explanation concluded with her decision to suspend both Riley and Anthony for a week.

"Wait, did I miss something?" Mr. Missoni asked. "Why is Anthony getting suspended?"

"He called his fellow classmate a slur," Ms. Diamond explained. "He's the victim of a physical assault, yes, but he's also the perpetrator of a bias incident."

"So Emily is here because of the... bias incident."

My father's statement came out as if it was mixed with a question. He sighed and continued. "Well, what if it's not true? What if he called her a... you know... and it didn't actually apply to her?"

"Either way, it's not acceptable language. If a reasonable person would find the word offensive, or if the person saying it negatively affects a student's sense of safety at school, then it needs to be addressed."