Can I Have That in Writing?

Riley: The Coldest Summers

Before I exchanged valentines with Emily, I had to talk to Noah. Something he said bugged me. No matter how much I tried to push it out of my mind during the meeting, I just couldn't.

"What's up?" Noah asked as I approached.

"You... you said you picked up on Emily liking me," I said, my voice shaking more than I would have liked it to. "Did... did you pick up on me liking her?"

Noah lifted his gaze toward the ceiling in thought.

"Well, the day I met you both was that LGBT Alliance meeting. I saw Emily run from the room. And... I saw the look on your face. You were concerned, and eventually, you ran after her. It was the same thing at the party. But that time, it wasn't just concern. You were shaken. You were in pain because she was. Even without my nudge, you would've ran after her again all on your own."

You should go after her. You want to. I can tell.

He smiled. "It took me a bit, but yeah. I picked up on it."

My face grew warm. He knew. Thank goodness, he knew. I nodded.

"Plus all the blushing at the play was a dead giveaway. For her, and for you."

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess. It's just... she thought I didn't care about her, that I was only hanging out with her because Allison asked me to. I was worried that maybe I wasn't showing her I cared enough. So it's a relief knowing that you..."

My voice trailed off. Noah patted my shoulder.

"Listen, sometimes you can literally wave a sign that says 'I love you' in someone's face. But they might not see it, or believe it. Not because you're doing anything wrong, but because they have a lot of self-doubt."

He looked in Seth's direction. "But when you love someone, you help them work through that doubt. And in return, they'll help you work through yours."

I smiled. "Yeah... thanks. Oh, speaking of signs that say 'I love you', I have to go give Emily a valentine."

Noah's eyes widened. "Oh nice! Yeah, we'll let you have the room. Good luck!"

"Thanks. See you around!"

Noah left the room, hand in hand with Seth. Allison gave us a quick talk about us dating. Then Emily and I made our exchange.

I wrote her something in which I expressed my emotions, while also incorporating as many Taylor Swift song titles from her second album as possible. In return, she gave me a beautiful drawing.

I wanted to kiss her again, so much. But it wasn't the time yet. I had to talk to her father first. Besides, I needed to know if she was comfortable kissing, if she was ready to kiss back. So instead, I hugged her with all my might.

We talked some more on our way out of the classroom. We decided on a having a Sunday dinner at Emily's, and that my parents would call hers that night to set it up. I let my parents know as soon as they got home.

And as soon as we finished dinner, Dad cleared his throat.

"Before we call Emily's parents, we should talk about something," he said. "Riley. What are you planning on saying?"

I gulped. "Well... I want to apologize. Explain why I did what I did. And, um... I want to tell him that I love Emily, and ask for his blessing."

Dad winced. "Um... you might not want to keep saying you love her. I know you like her, but you're-"

"Too young? You were, what, seventeen when you said you loved Mom? I'm not too far behind. And it's not like I'm only getting the butterflies or the heart racing. I want to never leave her side. I want to be a person she can rely on. Isn't that what love is?"