Shades & Shadows

I Watch and Wait

I watch her watch the Sun as he rises every morning.

I watch her the night before;

Combing her hair

Reminding it of his warmth

I watch her stare
Into the dullness
Of the rain

I watch her wait
For the dullness
To dissipate

I watch her take the stairs
To the roof every day
And wonder when
She won't use them

I watch her weigh
Hope and despair
Night and day
And wonder why
She never notices me

Watching
Three feet away

I watch the silence
In her eyes
Speaking to the wind
Calling for the sky
To help her make a friend

I watch her hypocrisy
Spitting on those below
Like the game that she and I
Once played

I watch her sharpen that blade
And stab herself everyday

I watch the smile
Born of this charade
Invade the kingdom of gloom
On her face

I watch it crumble
And get used to the taste
Of plastic
And it's melting smell
Smelted with her face

I watch the air around her
Turn bitter with warmth
I watch her become a queen
Of a swarm
Of those like her

I watch the plastic settle
Into place
Watch her forget
What's within her vase
Twirling with joy
Because there is no more trace
Of what she used to be

I watch over the years
With scrutiny
Waiting for suppressed emotions
To commit mutiny
But her mask
Is now her face
And her face is but a scar
Her mask
Will soon erase
So I watch
And wait

I watch her death
With a face
I didn't expect
To adorn
Goodbye and good riddance
Had never been the norm
At least
I pretended
When I said
Rest in peace
But I guess
The citizens of her face
Would've been offended
So curses
Burst through my teeth

But cursing the dead
Is like eating a cloud
So I cursed this life
That never gave her an out
Or an in
Or any clue as to where
Her sister could have been
When she was there
Underneath
The roof upon which
She stomped her feet

And I hate
That I was really watching me
And I loved
That she had been losing sleep
Over me
Until she didn't
So I hated her for a minute
Until I forgot to
So I watched her
Until I remembered
To hate her for a minute
Or two
Until I'd forget
Because that's what humans do
Or at least
What I think they're supposed to
Forgive and forget
Or at least
Forget
Until the bitterness
Leaves