Shades & Shadows

A Theory of God

In the low depths
In rising smoke
In undiscovered caverns
In endless cosmos
Where would I find you?
Because true enough
It is easier to deny you
Like air
A Being that doesn't try to
Convince me that you're really
There
Because unlike the air
I can't feel you
Or maybe
I do
But don't know how to
Just the question
Perhaps that's what I feel
The question
Of You

In my youth
It was asked and answered
But the question wasn't mine
And the answer wasn't You
This is me
Curious for the first time
But the search
The feel
Isn't as delightful

I'm older now
And meaning is everything
The weight of love
The depth of friendship
The sleight of pride
The need for vengeance
For justice
For life
And it all feels, meaningful

I'm starting to wonder
If meaning is something you should feel
Or something you should know
Is it something I take?
Or something I'm given?
Is it something I make?
Or something intricately woven
Into the fabric of who I am?
Because without this logo
I can't refine the brand
Since
Its what helps it
Make sense
Easy to understand?
Easy enough
So I search for you
Like a diamond in the rough
Wedged deep in some soul crevice
Murdering clichés
In between edits
But still I search
In every mosque
In every church
In every bar
After the drinks work
Are you many?
Are you one?
Are you perhaps
Hiding behind the Sun?
Oh no
That's just
A really bright light bulb

And I would love to say
I found you
In the warm eyes
Of my two year old son
Or in something
Equally tearful
But I'm actually serious this time
And I have no son
Fiction isn't a crime
But if I did though
Not that it isn't too late to try
But hypothetically
For the moral of this rhyme
I wonder if
You could trace me
Searching his dull coloured eyes
And deduce my skin tone
Or some features of my tribe
Would you find me?
If you studied him like a scribe
And somehow ignore how creepy
It made you look on the outside
Would you reach me?
And I don't know,
Yell, 'Surprise!'
That you followed my footprints
In that little boy's smile

And would I find You?
If I really, really tried
In your footsteps across the galaxy
You left behind?
Or maybe, you're still here
Unseen, quiet
Like the air
And I breathe you in
But don't know
That I breathe you in
Or how much of You
I'm breathing in
Could be toxic, can't lie
Maybe breathing you in
Is why we all eventually die?

Or maybe I am
Your hypothetical son
And my fingerprints
Are a coded message
Telling me how to find you
Maybe you find puzzle games
Quite delightful
Point is, I like them too
And who knows?
Maybe one day
Our mutual love
Will lead me back to you