Lucidity

6

I sat in my room that Baoshan gave me and thought over what I had experienced so far. From all the things I have heard, the memories within Wei Ying's subconscious seemed....messy. There were gaps but to me that did not matter. I just wanted to find his subconscious being...to make him listen to me, and really listen to me, I had no idea.

My first thought was to play Wangxian for him but he might not remember it. It was all I could think of at the moment. He died thinking he had no one left, and he did not even realize that I wanted to be there for him as his pain was just too much. He lost everything, three families, his golden core, his will to live, he lost it all.

How was it that I was the only one who could see through it all and see his pain?

I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what to do. Shufu made it very clear, he despised Wei Ying. I never understood why either. If it was only because of his mischievous behavior, Shufu broke rules, he did not care about them as he constantly accused and judged Wei Ying.

What was worse, my brother was not there for me like he promised me all those years ago. He let innocent people die. He let a child die. He let Wei Ying die. He let me down and he did not seem to care. All he wanted from me was to stay away from Wei Ying.

How could he ask me to do something like that?

He knows that Wei Ying has always been important to me. He should know that Wei Ying has a heart that cares for the good of the people. When I first met Wei Ying, it was Xichen who suggested he was someone I got close to.

Why else would he desperately try to make me be friends with Wei Ying when we first met?

Why would he suddenly change his mind?

Why did he not stop and think that something was wrong?

His duties as a sect leader were starting to change. He has changed ever since the ambush of Cloud Recesses. When he came back, he seemed as if he had everything about himself figured out.

Also, that sworn brother of his, Jin Guangyao, who is he to him really?

Why would Xichen listen to him as he only has known him for a few years, when he had known me since the day of my birth?

Why would he suddenly not care about what I would have to say, or even ask me for my opinion?

As I sat there in my room, I saw the tassel Baoshan left for me. She said I could use it to teleport in and out of her mountain. I wanted some answers so I teleported to Cloud Recesses. I still had my old Jade token and I used it to get inside. As I was inside, I noticed my spiritual energy had changed...it was stronger.

Was my spiritual energy building up more as I was looking through Wei Ying's subconscious?

"Wangji?" I heard a woman's voice call to me.

I turned around, "Wai Po?"

"Why are you here?" She asked.

"I was taking a break from the serum and I wanted to come speak with my brother once more. I want to know why he didn't trust me," I said.

"You can see him, but how are you feeling first?"

"I feel like my energy is about to burst," I told her.

She checked my vitals, "since you have been helping with A'Ying, your golden core is getting stronger. You should become an immortal soon."

"Immortal?" I asked.

"That serum helps regulate your energy and breathing, almost like you are in a deep meditative state. It allows your spiritual energy to flow and gain strength. As my mountain has an abundance of natural energy from the elements, it is helping you reach the next level of your cultivation."

I nodded, "I do have something else to ask but maybe I should when we return to the mountain," I said.

"Alright, and remember, that necklace I gave you will always protect you. If you feel like you're in trouble, just infuse some energy to it and I will be there. The tassel I gave you will also teleport you out quickly if you need it."

I nodded, "I just want to speak to Xichen."

"Alright, come back soon. We can talk more then, and I will also give you something else that could help you," she said and teleported out of Cloud Recesses. I then went to Hanshi, as it was the first place my brother might be.

His door was open but there were some shuffling noises coming from inside, even some muffled moans. I took out Bichen, leaving it in the sheathe before stepping inside. I was then taken by surprise when I saw Jin Guangyao straddling my brother's lap, making out with him. I decided that I didn't want to use Bichen just yet and put it back on my back.

"So, you really are fucking each other. It makes sense why you look at him more than me," I said angrily. I have never been this angry and my spiritual energy was feeding off of it. It was suddenly as if I could feel new abilities waking up inside of me.

"Wangji?" He asked, confused as Jin Guangyao got off of him. Luckily they were clothed, as it would only make me want to kill the man further.

"Hmph, how much more are you going to lie to me?" I asked.

"About what?" Xichen asked, "What have I lied to you about?"

"You said you would always be there for me!" I yelled, "you promised me, no matter what you would always believe in me as I am your family! It was the last thing you said you promised our mother, that you would be there for me but you failed! Instead, you are sucking face and fucking this son of a whore!"

"Lan Wangji!" Xichen yelled back as he stood up, "you will not use that kind of language again."

"I no longer listen to you. I came here for answers and it seems I got them," I said and felt more heat building inside my solar plexus (dantian), "you have not only failed me, but Mother as well. Mother would be so proud of you, would she not?"

Xichen looked at me stunned. It was almost as if he was so surprised to hear me call him out like this, "Wangji, I am sorry I am not there for you like I said I would," he began, "but I have my duties to protect the sect."

"Shut up!" I yelled again, "I do not want to hear anymore fucking lies from your mouth. You and Shufu do not pay attention to the sect rules all that much anymore! What is the point of having them if you do not follow them?"

"Why are you so angry with me?" Xichen asked, "I have never seen you so angry?"

"BECAUSE YOU CHOSE MENG YAO OVER YOUR REAL BROTHER!" I yelled. Suddenly, my body grew hotter and my hands began to glow a light blue, maybe almost white.

"Your eyes, and your hands!" Xichen said, "they are glowing, what is happening to you? Did you take something?"

"Fuck you Xichen!" I huffed and ran out of the Hanshi. I took hold of the tassel Baoshan gave me and quickly teleported back to her mountain. I didn't realize that Xichen had caught up to me and grabbed me just before I teleported out so he ended up on the mountain too. I then shoved him away from me and took more steps back to keep my distance.

I sat down and tried to meditate but Baoshan came out, "how did you get here?" She asked Xichen.

"I grabbed him as he was leaving," Xichen said, "what is happening to him?"

"You may be his brother but you lost the right to be concerned when you deliberately kept him away from Wei Ying. In the end it made him suffer and you lost your brother in the process," Baoshan said, "I do not ever want you on my mountain again."

I watched as she snapped her fingers and Xichen was gone, "Wai Po...what is wrong...I feel...hot!" I said.

"Your emotions are running too high which is speeding up the process for you to ascend to immortality," she said, "come with me."

I managed to follow her and she brought me to a room that had a large bath inside, "what is this?"

"Get in and meditate, this is a special serum I made that helps ease the process of turning immortal. You will be here for some time as your body adapts."

I nodded and stripped to my trousers before getting in the water and meditated. I do not know how long I was meditating for. All I know is that I assumed it was either hours or days.