Lucidity

1 ⚠️

⚠️This chapter Contains themes of mental health, depression, and suicide⚠️
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Wei Wuxian was standing alone in the burial mounds. Everything he cared about, everyone he loved, was gone. He supposedly cursed Jin Zixun with Hundred Holes curse, Wen Ning went out of control, killed Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun.

He lost everything.

He lost his biological parents when he was very young, and he barely had any memories left of them, not even remembering their faces anymore.

He lost what used to be his home, Lotus Pier. Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian were dead, and he was to blame.

His new family, the Dafan Wens, are all gone. Wei Wuxian was staring at a dead little toddler in his arms. He loved this like he was his own son and he was gone. Butchered like a pig for slaughter. Those righteous people called sect leaders and pristine cultivators killed elders, they killed young men and women who were unable to defend themselves, and they killed a child.

Wei Wuxian lost Wen Ning and Wen Qing, they were burned alive. Wei Wuxian did not have any desire left in this world. He no longer had the guts to look at his Shijie, or his Shidi.

So, Wei Wuxian set the little boy down gently and closed his eyes. He stood up and tossed out his first class tool, the Yin Hu Fu. He let it gather resentment. It just kept soaking it all in until it became too much and it burst into shards. As his body was breaking apart from the backlash, he put the shards into the Blood Pool of the mounds. No one will be able to look at them or touch them, be able to try and find a way to make it again.

He saw a dagger beside the little boy's corpse and picked it up. Without a second thought, he raised it to his throat and cut deep, taking his life away.

Soon appeared a woman in black, gold, and silver robes. Her eyes were sad seeing such a scene. He took the lifeless bodies of the little boy and Wei Wuxian and took them to a secret place.

The sects were angry, many, many, were grieving, but they were determined to go after Wei Wuxian and kill him. When they got to the mounds, everything was already destroyed, and Wei Wuxian was nowhere to be seen. Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren forbid Wangji to leave Cloud Recesses, and locked him up until further notice. It didn't matter to him if he was locked up, if he ever got free, he was going to leave Cloud Recesses and never return. His brother had failed him and his uncle did not care for his desires. So Lan Wangji was left alone to do everything on his own.

Lan Wangji was suddenly teleported out of the room and ended up in a bright room. Looking straight ahead he saw two bodies lying there. He stepped closer and he froze from shock. Wei Wuxian and little A'Yuan, dead.

"No!" Lan Wangji said, taking Wei Wuxian's hand, "Wei Ying, Xingan, you cannot be dead! Please no!"

The woman who brought Wangji there, watched from a distance. Seeing this poor Lan broken from seeing the love of his life dead.

"I can save him," The woman said.

"How? Who are you?" Wangji asked.

"I will answer your questions but please answer mine first," the woman said.

Wangji nodded, "alright."

"You called him Xingan, how much do you love this man?" the woman asked.

Lan Wangji did not hesitate to answer her. He spilled out his heart like he has never done before. He has never said so much in his entire life but for the love of his life, he wanted to share his thoughts to Baoshan, "I fell in love with him...we met a few years ago and he was mischievous and cheerful. He had little care in this world for anything and he was happy. At least I thought he was. He was annoying, you see. He would spend a lot of his time trying to work up a conversation with me. I was so lost in my sect's strict rules and my Uncle's beliefs and teachings to understand what I was feeling at the time.

When he left after lectures ended, I began to feel lonely again and it was always so quiet. I used to love the quiet but I missed his laugh that rang throughout Cloud Recesses. He'd tease me so much and I would get so annoyed and flustered. I never knew how to handle it. It was a few months before we saw each other again. During that time apart, I spent it writing a song for him. I was starting to come to terms with my feelings for him.

The Wen Sect came and burned down my home. They killed a lot of Lan disciples and my father died that day. My brother went missing and my uncle was injured severely. Before taking me to the indoctrination at Qishan, Wen Xu had my leg broken. At the indoctrination, Wei Ying stirred up some mischief. He taunted Wen Chao, and he even recited the Gusu Lan Sect Principles to annoy him. He protected me and was sent to the dungeons for one night. When I saw him the next morning, he was covered in blood and bruises.

He saved me again when we were in Xuanwu's cave. He splinted my leg and stayed behind with me while others got out and got help. He and I were trapped for several days. We killed Xuanwu together but he gave me all of the credit. The next thing I knew, news of Lotus Pier was ambushed and it was a bloody massacre. Jiang Wanyin, his sister, and Wei Ying were said to be the only survivors.

Wei Ying went missing at one point but when he came back three months later, he was different. He did not use his sword anymore, he picked up a flute he named Chenqing, and he used it to control spirits and summon corpses. He could use demonic cultivation. I was worried for his health but he would not give me any answers no matter what I asked. I couldn't work up the courage to confess, and my sect is too strict for a free spirit like him. I wanted to follow him and help him, but my Uncle and Brother forbid it, and locked me up. I couldn't be there for him. I love him more than anything."

Baoshan Sanren was quite intrigued by Lan Wangji. Even though Wei Wuxian changed, Lan Wangji may have wanted answers but he eventually let that go because Wei Wuxian was more important to him than the methods he used.

"I have a way to save them both, the boy will be easier then Wei Wuxian. I am going to need you for that," Baoshan told him.

"I will do whatever you need, I just want him back. I want to tell him I am sorry and I love him. I will be with him and leave my sect behind for him," Wangji said.

"I appreciate it," Baoshan said, "first I need you to help me confront Sect Leader Jiang."

"What for?" Wangji asked.

"The reason A'Ying cannot use his sword is obvious. He has no golden core," Baoshan told him, "I scanned through his memory and he gave his golden core to Sect Leader Jiang. I will explain it all when we see him but I just need you as backup."

"He...has no golden core?" Wangji asked and looked at Wei Wuxian's body.

"No, but he will have it again...I want to right this for him. That Jiang knew his brother was innocent and he still left him like garbage on the streets. That Jiang lost his core due to his carelessness and he should not have Wei Wuxian's. If that man wants a core, I will give him one...that is suitable for nine year olds...since he wants to act like one," Baoshan explained, "just be with me. I just need you there."

Wangji nodded, "I will...but my weapons were confiscated by my brother and uncle."

With a wave of her hand, Bichen and Wangji (Lan Wangji's Guqin), we're back in Lan Wangji's hands, "now you have them again."

Wangji put his guqin away and strapped his sword to his back before following Baoshan to Lotus Pier. He was all to eager too know what Baoshan had planned.