Lucidity

17 🥵

🥵Mild mature content in this chapter🥵
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~*Lan Wangji's POV*~

I was lying in bed with A'Ying thinking about what my brother has been through. I felt guilty that I didn't notice sooner that he was struggling like that. I was so caught up with my own anger and grief that I didn't notice his pain. I couldn't sleep that night.

"A'Zhan?" A'Ying said quietly.

I held him close as he was the comfort I needed at the moment, "A'Ying, I feel so guilty," I told him.

He lifted his head from my chest and looked up at me, "I know you do, but you didn't know. You had your own issues as did he. If you let this guilt consume you, that means you are letting Jin Guangyao win. I have a feeling this was what he wanted from the start. He probably set me up to get my Yin Hu Fu, but I destroyed it, and he wanted me dead as he had me blamed for deaths I didn't do. I have a gut feeling this was all planned. I am always guilty about my past and wish I could go back and fix things but I know that I cannot. I have to live with it all and learn from it. Same as you. As your husband, I am here to help you. You helped me so now it is my turn to help you," he told me.

I placed a kiss on his forehead, "this is just a huge mess. All because of one man, but for what reason?"

"Control, greed, power?" A'Ying answers, "he is Jin Guangshan's illegitimate son. He wanted his recognition but it was not enough. Something must have set him off. Jin Guangshan wanted my amulet from the beginning, my guess, he wanted Jin Guangyao to help him get it."

"Jin Guangyao suggested we invite you to Jin Ling's one month celebration, he said if you come and hand over the amulet, they'd let you and the Wens be," I told him, "they wanted me to send the invitation because they knew you'd come if I asked."

"So he did have something to do with it," A'Ying said, "my mind was clouded that day, but I remember Jin Zixuan say that it was Jin Guangyao that told him that Jin Zixun sent people out for me."

"He knew Jin Zixun was there, and he told Jin Zixuan...then the second flute came and Wen Ning was no longer under your command," I said.

"It was a set up from the beginning...was it Jin Guangyao who placed the curse?"

"No, he didn't have the backlash as we saw in Xichen's memory," I said.

"He might know who placed the curse though," A'Ying said, "but how did Shijie get to Nightless City? You got me out but who brought her there? She should have been in Lanling with her son."

"I am not sure, but we will find out," I said, "thanks for talking with me."

"Mnn, you can talk to me as much or as little as you want. We do better when we talk about things," he said.

"We do," I agree.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked.

"Mnn, a little," I answered.

He then had me roll to my back and he was above me, "I think I know how to really cheer you up Er-Gege."

I smirked, "if you call me that I do not know if I can hold myself back from taking you deep into the bed."

He giggled, "Er-Gege, you can take me anytime. I honestly have no objections...unless I cannot move the next day," he said.

"A'Ying!" I warned him.

He laughed again before he gently grazed his fingers along my jawline. The moon light was lighting the room so I could see his face was now only centimeters away from mine. My lips were tingling as the thought of his lips came to mind. His lips brushed past mine, causing the tingling sensation to increase. I placed my hand on the back of his neck and forcefully pulled him the rest of the way down as I thirsted for his lips.

I always felt at home when I was kissing him. A kiss that condensed a million thoughts into a moment. A chemical reaction of our energy set off like an ignited flame. In this kiss, it was the promise of realness and proof that he was here. Our hearts beat as one and it was like our love wrapped up in a protective cocoon. Although, it was just the blanket getting tossed aside and I flipped us over. My aching hands yearned to touch his skin as they invaded his robes.

A'Ying always knew how to make me feel better. Just a simple kiss can set off a reaction in us and we turn into insatiable beasts. He always begged for more, he always begged to go harder. He was encouraging that animal inside of me to devour him whole and keep making him mine. By the time our fire dwindled, it was nearly morning. Neither of us cared as we took a quick bath before going back to bed and trying to get more sleep.

I woke up a few hours later with A'Ying laying on top of me, his arms were wrapped around my torso and his legs were tangled with mine. Our bare chests pressed together and I could feel the warmth of his breath hitting my skin. I smiled and ran my fingers through his dark hair. He moved slightly and let out a cute little whine as he moved his face to the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms firmly around him, letting him know that I am here. He was safe in my arms and I will always do my best to protect him. He is my heart and it will always be fragile. No matter how strong it may be or how much it keeps beating, my heart still needs to be protected.

I know there is another storm coming. As for Jin Guangyao, he will get what he deserves but he will answer to his crimes. I want to see him for myself. I want to cut him up and torture him. I want to make him bleed, castrate him before I gouge out his eyes with Bichen. He dared to mess with two important people in my life. Ruining both of them, and I was now out for blood. No one knew just how badly I wanted to cut that man into a million pieces and serve him to a pack of wolf dogs. That death was too easy for him. It will be cruel and I will be sure of it. I am sure A'Ying would love to help me with that too.