The Bianchi's Missing Piece

Chapter 35

Aria's POV:

The school day was finally over and to say I was scared shitless would be an understatement. Not only did I skip basically all of my classes, but I left home this morning with Jackson. Do I regret it? No. But still.

As soon as we get home, I enter the house and as quickly as possible, I head for my room. I enter my bathroom and turn the cold water on.

I need to wash away their touch.

I scrub my body until it's raw, feeling the overwhelming sting of all my cuts come into contact with the soap.

Once I'm done I wrap a fluffy towel around my body and head for the closet. I pick out matching black sweatpants and sweatshirt and decide it will work.

Today was going so good until Brady and his gang showed up.

I feel as though I'm in deep. I get that weird feeling when I'm with Jackson. That feeling that makes me want to tell him all my problems and let him hold me until I fall asleep. The feeling that tells me I have greater feelings for him than just friendship. But there's no possible way he feels the same.

I'm broken.

Jackson wouldn't want that. He doesn't deserve that. Plus, I can't help but realize that I have the same feelings towards Blake. And what kind of person am I if I feel this way to both guys?

Everyone is right, I am a slut.

I blink away the tears that have fallen and close my eyes and breathe in.

I'm so tired.

As I open my eyes, I hear the downstairs door open and close, assuming my other brothers are finally home.

"ARIA! GET DOWN HERE." I hear Lorenzo scream.

oh great.

I prepare myself for what's about to happen and take shaky steps towards the stairs.

As I descend down all my brothers are sat on the couch creating an intense and thick atmosphere.

"Take a seat" Lorenzo says way too calmly

I sit down hesitantly on the end, almost expecting them to jump at me.

Except they don't. Instead they just look at me with the look.

The look that says "hey i'm about to kill you, you might wanna start running"

I feel tears start to rise and my anxiety twists and turns around in my stomach.

"I'm really sorry ok, I didn't mean to be mean yesterday and I'm sorry for skipping school today, I was just really tired and it gives me no reason to be like this so please don't punish me" I blurt wanting to get the beating over with.

"You're grounded for the rest of the week. No phone, no friends, no leaving the house" Lorenzo deadpans. 

The silence is so loud. I nod my head but Lorenzo clears his throat wanting more.

"I understand" I respond. "May I be excused?" I mutter trying to not let my sobs come out.

With a wave of a hand from Lorenzo I head up the stairs, but not before I hear a quiet, "she's killing me" statement from Rodrigo.

Am I really that bad?

I guess I am. I'm only causing trouble. My brothers hate me, they're gonna send me back. I know it. And I refuse to go back.

I need to end it. I need to stop everything.

It would be better if I just stop it. All of it. All the hurting, the drama I bring into everyone's life, It's better with me gone.

I pull out a razor and role my sleeves up, instead of finding a place on my shoulder where there's more space, I go straight to the veins on my wrist.

Ugly
Worthless
Waste of Space
Fat
Slutty

Broken.

I keep slashing the same vein, until there is no more...