The Knife

Trigger Warnings

All the warnings. Just think of a warning and it's probably in here. Because this is a massive vent "book" written by a disabled, non-binary, abuse victim with mental issues trying to cope with their past, present, and possible future realities. Basically it's dark and while I usually list out trigger warnings, I am 49 parts into this and writing this at 2 in the morning. I did not originally think anyone was actually gonna read any of this after that first part. And then I remembered I'm an author. And I'm not exactly trying to hide my Wattpad and AO3 accounts cuz if people wanna be embarrassed by what I read and write, I will sit back, laugh at them, and then continue to read and write more embarrassing stuff cuz this is how my "I don't give a shit" energy is currently manifesting since with everything else I attempt to put that energy twords, I actually care about too much. So anyway, people will probably find this, and people will probably read this, so I didn't want anyone going in completely blind cuz the shit in my head is... A lot. Especially since I add to this when I'm doing semi okay and I add to this when I'm literally in the middle of a mental breakdown 2 seconds away from grabbing a gun. So... If you're curious enough to read this, be prepared for that. And if you're an interviewer reading this to ask me invasive questions or make me feel like shit someday to get some stupid views, fuck off. (I've watched a lot of interviews where the person is literally crying and the interviewer is still being insensitive, so... I'm definitely not excited for publicity and if I could hide in a hole away from the press forever, I would, but if I'm gonna be a published author someday... I fear I will have to suffer.) Also I feel like I should let everyone know right now that if I inspire you or make you feel less alone or anything like that, I am incredibly happy to be able to help. But I'm also just a person trying to heal. I still mess up. I still backtrack my process. And sometimes, I can still be a shitty person even when I try not to be. In the end, all I am is human. Don't expect me to be anything more than that. And don't expect perfection from yourself either.