razors hurt

chapter 5:

-Clifton-

6:03 p.m.

Crawling myself into my room, my already painful cuts, thrashed even further by my father. It was my fault, the school had contacted my father about my absence in class today, while I was at janes. They just wanted to make sure I was okay, but little did they know, that innocent email, cost me a beating.

I avoided my father for the rest of the week. I wasn't going to threaten another backlash. I just stayed in my room, refusing to eat dinner.

***

7:05 p.m.

"Clifton, please. You need to eat dinner. I know dad hurt you, just... please?" Alexa asked me, through my door. I could tell, by the way her voice was cracking, that she'd been crying. "cliff?" she asked again, sniffling. "please?"

"fuck off Lex." I yelled back, I wasn't in the mood.

I did feel bad, she was trying so hard to be strong for me, I wasn't making it easy.

When I yelled back at her, I heard her fall over, hit a wall and start crying.

"Alexa, pick yourself up, honestly, you're so dramatic. You remind me of your mother, pathetic. Honestly! Just make me dinner and stop worrying about that mistake." I heard my dad scream at my sister, her weep's silenced, but knowing her, tears still rolled down her face, ruining her makeup. Her whole life she had tried to stay strong for her, she's been raising me for so long. But she won't admit she needs help, when she truly does. I love her so much, and I want her to be happy. When right now she's truly not.

***

1:09 a.m.

The house was asleep. Dad's snores echoed down the hallway, he was knocked out, thank god. My stomach growled at me none stop so I would feed it. I placed my socks on so no-one could hear me when I walked on the tiles. I was about to leave my room when I heard footsteps. Dad's snores had stopped, but those footsteps didn't sound like his. They were to light. To heavy to be Alexa's though. My brain started to hurt, I didn't recognise these. Then as I was about to slightly open my door, I heard lighter footsteps following them. Those, I knew, belonged to Alexa.

"Alexa!" I whispered as I pulled my door open.

"shit, cliff, you scared me." she responded, slapping her hand to her chest.

"sorry, but who's with you?" curiously, I looked around, trying to spot someone.

"I'm not with anyone." She said, her guilty face showing, she didn't have a poker face.

"Lex?" I asked, looking at her dead in the face.

"fine, I've had a friend over, please don't tell dad!" she pleaded. "sibling shake?"

Sibling shake was something we made when I was 10. She had started to become a rebellious teenager and I was becoming a tween boy. Ever since, when we tell the other something we don't want dad to know (and mum when she was still around) we say 'sibling shake' and we're sworn to secrecy.

"sibling shake." I told her. Smiling, she gave me a quick hug and ran off into the dark house to let her 'friend' out via the backdoor.

***

1:23 a.m.

Sitting in the kitchen, I started to cry. Alexa had finally come back inside. She placed a hand on either of my shoulders and hugged me.

"why don't you bring Ella over tomorrow after school? She makes you feel better, every time." Alexa asked, I forgot she didn't know. I didn't want to say anything, so I just shook my head, trying not to cry. "why not?" I couldn't hold it anymore.

"we aren't friends anymore, she hates me." I told her.

"what happened?" her voice sounded extremely concerned.

***

I told her the whole story, pausing every so often to let a hiccup out due to my tears.

Alexa held me so tightly, she got mum's hug, which was comforting. The perfect ratio of not to tight yet not to soft. Her perfume surrounded me, relaxing my body. her warmth keeping me safe. I loved her hugs, they always made me feel like the world was harmless, peaceful and calm.

"maybe you should talk to her, then you might feel better, reconnect the friendship?" Alexa suggested.

-Ella-

3:56 a.m.

"don't cry, please, don't cry. You're not weak." I told myself, my only source of light was from the moon. My curtain was up, window open, letting the cool breeze inside my room. It relaxed me.

Siri: hey kid, I'm coming into town next week, just let me know what you're doing and we can catch up, love ya ❤ ttyl😊

The message popped up on my home screen. Illuminating my entire room. I was going to ignore it until tomorrow morning, she will think I'm asleep and get mad at me if I'm awake.

I let the notification go to the notification centre.

My phone switched on again, this time from snapchat.

Clifton Hollers 😂😎
Sent you a snap

The fuck does he want?

I won't lie, I do miss him. He was one of the best friends I've ever had.