razors hurt

chapter 6:

-Ella-

4:07 a.m.

I've been contemplating opening this snap for about 10 minutes.

"Just open it!" I muttered to myself. "I can't!" I retaliated back... to myself. Why was I fighting myself? I'll have to open it at some point. "fuck it!" I yelled and opened it. covering my mouth, not realising how loudly I said that. I threw my phone under my pillow, chucked the doona over myself and pretended to be asleep.

Only moments after I placed my head onto the pillow, my door was barged open by my dad. He hated being woken up. Once he realised I was asleep, he grunted and closed the door, confused.

I pick up my phone and looked at Clifton's snap.

It was just a black background and one little text in the middle;

You alright?

I didn't know how to respond. Leaving him on opened, I turned off my phone and went to sleep.

-Clifton-

4:50 a.m.

She left me on opened, of course she did. Why wouldn't she. I deserved it I'm going to sleep, I've got school in like 3 hours.

***

8:00 a.m.

I walked into school my head held high, trying not to show my emotions, no one needed to know the trouble I was going through. No one!

-Ella-

5:35 p.m.

"hey jane?" asking, preparing to ask for the help I need.

"oi, Ella?" I hear a voice echo through the busy corridor surrounding janes office.

"Evelyn?" I ask, looking around, trying to find the face to the voice.

"what is up girl? What you doing?" she asks me. Not wanting to confess the reason I'm here, I make something up on the spot.

"I... am... getting a... pad, for someone." I force out. Real slick Ella!

"cool, anyway... I kind of forgot to do my homework... can I copy yours?" Evelyn pleaded.

"in my locker." I called to her as she sprinted through the ocean of people to my locker.

***

"of course, I'll tell the principle immediately." Jane muttered from her laptop. She was very quiet today, usually she's quite talkative.

"hey, jane?" I blurted out.

"yes?" she turned around, glancing at me for a moment before checking her phone.

"are you alright?" I asked, before she was able to answer, Zoie and Evelyn barged in.

"I never said we should kill him!" Zoie hissed under her breath.

"pardon me girls?" jane scolded.

"look Zo, it takes four muscles to smile. It takes sixteen muscles to frown. It takes twenty-four muscles to become furious. Thirty-eight to shout at someone, six hundred and fifty-six to fight them. However, it only takes sixteen muscles to take out a knife and stab them. Six to realise what you've done. Seven hundred and eighty-four to hide the body. And no muscles to speak of it again." Evelyn 'joked'. "shit, uhm, people. Hi jane... Ella? Cool, uhm, those were jokes, we're not planning a murder, the fuck are you on about."

"language" jane protested.

"shit, sorry, mother fu-" Evelyn started.

"shut up!" I mouthed at her. Sticking her thumb up, she closed her mouth.

"girls, please explain your selves, this is totally inappropriate behaviour. Explain! Now!" jane yelled at them.

"please no, I'm not drunk enough yet!" Zoie pleaded.

"enough? Yet?" jane yelled. "Zoie? Are you drunk?"

"shit!" Zoie tried to whisper.

"I think she knows." Evelyn responded, looking at jane dead in the eye.

"I don't know how though." Zoie mumbled.

"neither." And with that, the girls ran out of the office, leaving jane and I horror struck.

-Clifton-

Walking into math, I feel like everyone's starring at me, at my arm. Turns out, they were looking at the seating plan that was behind me, on the whiteboard. I looked for my name, failing at first. I was sat at the back with Georgie on my left and... fuck sake. Matt on the left.

I walked toward my designated seat, matt already sitting down. He was pocking holes into his eraser with his pencil. As I was about to sit down, I saw his boyfriend, Craig, walking to my seat.

"Craig, move cunt!" I told him, he shot me a dirty look, but thankfully he moved over to Elena hopper's seat.

"hey Clifton." Georgie stated, getting out her homework from the night before.

"sup Georgie." Her smile was so innocent, but I've seen her Wattpad reading list...

***

"Georgie?" I asked, not listening to the teacher.

"what the fuck do you want?" she barked back, quietly.

"jeez, I was going to ask if you have a pencil." I said, sounding pathetic.

"oh, sure." She passed me a pencil and started to focus again.

***

I heard Georgie start to laugh. I glanced at her, then at the glowing thing under the table. The bitch was watching TikTok.

"Georgie!" I whispered, trying to sound menacing.

"get fucked you oompa Loompa!" she hissed at me, then continued to watch her video's.

"alright, I guess." I just ignored her for the rest of the lesson, hearing her little laughs every so often.

-Ella-

I was getting help, jane had found a place online called; free help kidz, for ages 0-18. It was an odd name, but it was completely free, walk in and it had thousands of five-star reviews online.

***

*term 4*

I still haven't forgiven Clifton. I don't think I will. But the help, may not be helping, but I'm trying to get better.