She's not mine | 𝔍𝔢𝔫𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔞

Chapter 10

Jennie

My heart aches as I take my sister's wedding dress off the hanger. It's beautiful, and it's going to look amazing on her. Every second of designing and sewing this was torture. It was a reminder that my unrequited love ends here. Thankfully, Lisa doesn't seem to have told Irene about what I did, and he hasn't given it much thought either. I thought I'd destroyed our friendship, but instead, she's just been texting me a lot more. She seems worried, and it's ridiculous, because she's the source of my agony.

The tips of my fingers brush over the contours of Irene's dress, my heart hollow. I designed a mermaid dress for her with a separate train that fastens around the waist, essentially giving Irene two dresses in one. I can already imagine the way Lisa will react when she sees her walk down the aisle in this. She won't be able to take her eyes off her, and I'll have to stand there as she looks at her the way I've always wanted her to look at me.

"Jennie!"

I turn toward the door at the sound of my sister's voice and force a smile onto my face. "Ready for your last dress fitting, sis?"

She nods, her eyes roaming over the dress in delight. "It's beautiful. Is there anything you can't do?"

I smile at her through the pain. "Let's see if it fits or not. I can make some final adjustments the night before the wedding to ensure it fits perfectly, but I doubt your weight will fluctuate much in the next two weeks."

She nods and takes the dress from me, disappearing into a fitting room where two attendants are waiting for her. I wonder if I'll ever find myself trying on the dress of my dreams. I can't imagine finding someone I'd actually want to marry.

Irene emerges looking like the superstar she is, and this time my smile turns genuine. She looks beautiful, and seeing her wearing one of my grandest designs is surreal.

"Wow," I whisper.

Irene chuckles and turns around for me. "It's perfect, Jen. I love it."

She looks into the mirror and assesses the dress carefully. "Did you decide if you're bringing a date to the wedding? Don't forget the NDA. No one can know what event they're actually attending until the day of our wedding, or we'll have the paparazzi swarming us."

"I know," I remind her. "Don't worry. I'm not bringing a date. Your wedding day is all about you,
and I want to be there for you. I can't do that if I have to entertain a date. Besides, I'm not seeing anyone."

Because of Irene's popularity, her wedding has been kept under wraps. Not even her closest friends will be told that the party they're invited to is her wedding. Chances of the news leaking are too high, and no amount of security could keep the press away if they caught wind of a wedding between the CEO of one of the largest media companies and a famous actress.

"I suppose it's good that you aren't dating anyone," she says absentmindedly. "You're lucky in that sense, I guess. Enjoy being single for as long as you can. I didn't have that luxury for very long."

Luxury. I smile mockingly, my spine straightening. I'd do anything to trade places with her. "Is everything okay?" I ask, forcing myself to remain kind and calm. These days, the bitterness runs so deep that I can taste it on my tongue, but I can't let it show.

"I don't know," she says, her voice soft. "Lisa and I are always fighting these days. We're barely even friends anymore, and it's just insane that we're getting married. Sometimes I wonder if it would've been different if Lisa hadn't been my first girlfriend. I'd never been in a serious relationship before her, and because of that, we've always felt like a work-in-progress. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we'd met once I'd already been in a few relationships. If we'd learned our lessons before we got together, would everything have felt a little easier?"

I blink in surprise, unsure what to say. Lisa and Irene always seemed like the perfect couple to me. I never realized they had any issues at all, but I suppose it makes sense that they do.

"There's a certain beauty in growing together, Rene. Knowing that everything you two have accomplished, you did together... that is admirable and enviable. Maybe things could have been different, but they aren't, and you two have made the best of the cards you were dealt."

She nods and looks at me, vulnerability in her expression. "Maybe, Rene. I'm not sure, you know? It's just been so hard. The Manobans have so many rules when it comes to our marriage. Did you know Lisa and I aren't allowed to stay away from each other for more than three consecutive nights during the entire first three years of our marriage? It's insane, but if we breach their terms, Lisa loses her inheritance. They're just so different from us. When I was younger, I thought it was amazing. It made me feel like I was marrying into royalty, but now? Now it's constricting and putting so much strain on my relationship with Lisa and my career. I can't just take a break from filming for an entire year, and Lisa can't always accompany me on set. How are we supposed to abide by the three-night-rule?" She runs a hand through her hair and sighs.

"I suppose it's hard for you to understand. It's so unfortunate that you didn't have the talent to become an actress." She pauses. "But then again, it's a blessing too. Your life is so... nice. You have your modeling work and the prestige that comes from that, but you have enough time left to run your own company. My career is far too demanding for something like that. I haven't even been able to help Mom out with Dreamessence, you know? I'm supposed to manage it with Lisa after the merger, but where am I going to find the time?"

I stare at my sister as my heart takes a beating. Not enough talent... she knows that isn't true. I quit acting early on when she became anxious about having to compete against me. She begged me to reconsider, telling me that she'd hate fighting over roles, and that acting was very much her thing, so I gave in. It was never a matter of talent. Not at the start.

"I'm sure the three-day thing is negotiable, Rene," I say eventually, exhausted. I don't have it in me to stand up for myself today. "Just talk to Grandma Anne."

She throws her hands up and sighs. "Don't you think I haven't tried? She won't budge on it. Grandma doesn't want me to work at all. The closer we get to the wedding, the more I'm second- guessing this."

I inhale deeply and force myself to look my sister in the eye. "You love Lisa, don't you?"

She nods. "With all my heart."

"Then you'll be okay, Rene. I know that being with her requires sacrifices on your part, and I'm sure it's the same for her, too. For years now, she hasn't been able to date you publicly because of your career. That can't have been easy on her either, you know? There must have been so many things she's wanted to do with you and couldn't. Now it's your turn to make some sacrifices. That's what marriage is supposed to be, right? Compromise."

She nods and turns back toward the mirror, her eyes roaming over her dress. "Yes, I guess so. I guess the worst part is that Lisa is so perfect. All of our issues stem from me. I know she deserves everything, but I'm still having a hard time pushing aside my ego and my aspirations. One year is enough for people to forget about me, you know? Imagine three years."

I chuckle and shake my head. "You're Irene Kim. There's no way anyone will ever forget about you, Rene. You could take a ten-year hiatus and it still wouldn't matter."

She smiles at me then. "Thank you, Jen," she says, her voice soft. "I needed this. I needed to talk to someone who won't judge me for my selfishness, for the thoughts that I shouldn't be voicing at all." I shake my head and smile back at her. "You'll be okay, sis. In two weeks, you're going to be the most beautiful bride anyone has ever seen, and soon all of your doubts will seem like a distant memory."

She nods, a hint of insecurity in her eyes. "You'll be by my side, won't you?"

"Always," I promise. I'll always be there for her, even if doing so rips my hearts to shreds over and over again.

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