She's not mine | 𝔍𝔢𝔫𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔞

Chapter 55

Jennie

I stare at myself in the mirror, taking in the smeared lipstick, my messy hair and clothes. I'd been so annoyed watching Irene follow her around the garden, and she turned my mood around just like that. She knew exactly what I needed without me even saying a word.

I try my hardest to fix my appearance, but no matter what I do, I look like I just had a quickie with my wife. I suppose it's the smile that I can't suppress.

I'm strangely giddy as I slip out of the bathroom, but my mood drops instantly when I find Irene leaning against the wall. She looks at me with such hatred in her eyes that I find myself frozen in place.

"It wasn't enough that you stole her from me, huh? You just had to fuck her all night knowing I could hear you two." She waves her hand in my direction. "And now this? You just had to steal her attention away when we were finally having a civil conversation. What is it that you're trying to do? Did you want to show me how much she wants you? Do you want to rub in that I lost her?"

I lean back against the closed bathroom door and shake my head. "No, Irene. I would never knowingly do that to you. I tried to be quiet last night, and just now... well, it had nothing to do with you. I went inside and Lisa followed me. You could've stopped her if you wanted to."

She laughs humorlessly. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? You fucking bitch. I don't understand why everyone always thinks you're so sweet and innocent, when you're a vicious fucking slut."

I smile at her, barely able to restrain my anger. "Hmm, you might be onto something there. Lisa does call me her little slut, after all." Her eyes widen as though she can't believe I just said that, and I merely shrug. "I'm done indulging you. You put me through hell for years, and I always gave in, because that's just how it's always been between us. Not anymore, Irene. Walking away from Lisa is the best thing you ever could've done for me, but it's also the worst thing you ever could've done to me. Your blatant disregard for my happiness and my plans for my future is disgusting. I'm done hoping that someday, you'll go back to being the big sister I once looked up to."

She looks hurt for a moment, but her pain rapidly makes way for anger. "Don't give me that shit," she tells me. "Don't try to change the subject and shift the blame."

I cross my arms and stare her down. "I wouldn't dare. That's your area of expertise, after all."

She grits her teeth. "Tell me honestly, Jennie. Why did you take my place on my wedding day? We both know Grandma Anne would've allowed us to postpone the wedding if you hadn't. Despite her threats, she'd never have forced you. She loves you far too much to do that to you."

I nod. "I know."

Her eyes widen. "Then why?"

"Because I've been in love with her for years. Ever since an engagement between her and me was first discussed. My feelings never wavered. I've loved her since before you even met her. My biggest regret in life was introducing you two, so when I was given a chance to remedy that, I took it. Can you really blame me for chasing my dreams by walking down that aisle, when walking away from it allowed you to chase yours?"

"You disgust me," she tells me, her eyes flashing with genuine hurt. "All these years, you lusted after my fiancé, spending time with her, pretending to be her friend, when all along, you wanted her. Was it ever more than that? Did you two ever cross the line?"

I think back to the way I sat in her lap, the way I tried to seduce her.

"No," I tell her. "Lisa never crossed the line with me. Not even once."

I did, though. I crossed the line with her. I'm guilty of what she's accusing me of, but admitting that now would only further deteriorate what's left of our relationship.

"Irene, why are you chasing after her when you're the one who left her at the altar? Why do you continuously attempt to get between us even though we're married? Do I truly mean nothing to you? Does my happiness truly not matter to you?"

Some of the venom in her eyes drains away, and she looks away. "I want you to be happy, Jennie. But not with the woman I love. Not with the woman I planned a future with and share a past with."

I stare at my sister, my heart breaking. "But I am, Unnie. I'm happy with her, and I think she's happy with me too. Can't you see that?" I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear and inhale shakily. "Over the last few months, you and I have destroyed the strenuous relationship we had, and what for? I won't leave her, Irene. Even if I tried, she wouldn't let me. She loves me just as much as I love her. You realize that, don't you?"

"Love," she repeats, followed by a hollow laugh. "Are you seriously standing here and telling me she fell in love with your after, what? Four, five months of marriage? Don't be ridiculous. This is a rebound, and I'll let her have it, but it'll never be more than that."

I inhale shakily and look away. "Maybe you're right," I admit. "But even so, I'm her wife. I'll be her wife for at least the next two and a half years, but we both know it'll be far longer than that. Even if you're right, and what she feels for me isn't true love... then that's fine for me, Irene. I love her enough to wait until she eventually truly loves me back."

She stares at me in disbelief.

"I'm sorry," I tell her.

"No," she says. "You're not sorry."

"Irene," I say, my voice breaking. "Do you want me in your life? Because this road you and I are walking... if we see this through, there's no going back. I love you, Unnie. You know that I do. But I won't sacrifice any more for you."

She rolls her eyes. "You say that as though you've ever had to sacrifice anything for me at all."

I smile at her, my heart wrenching. "You wouldn't be standing here today if I hadn't sacrificed anything for you. Similarly, I wouldn't exist without you. We both know that Mom and Dad only had me because they needed my bone marrow to save your life. I've spent my entire life living in your shadow, Irene, giving into anything you wanted, supporting you in any way I could think of, even if it meant making myself small and invisible. I'm done. I'm done being taken for granted. I'm done being pushed around. I love you, but I can't have you in my life if all you bring me is sorrow."

Irene looks at me and inhales shakily. "You're right," she says. "I'll never forgive you for going after Lisa the way you did, Jennie. I won't give up on her either. If that means that I'll have to sacrifice my relationship with you, then so be it. Let's be real. We both hate each other anyway. The only reason we tolerate each other is because we have to."

My heart clenches painfully, and I inhale sharply. I always suspected that she hated me, but I tried so hard to convince myself that it was all in my head, that my own sister couldn't possibly feel that way about me.

"I loved you," I tell her, my voice breaking. "I'm pretty sure I loved you from the moment I took my first breath, and I'll love you until I take my last. It kills me that you don't feel the same way, but at least I know now." I take a step away, taking one last look at my sister. "You're toxic, Irene. Not just to me, but to yourself. It isn't just me you're losing today, you know? With each passing day, you lose more of yourself, too. But you know what? It isn't my job to save you. Not anymore."

I force myself to walk away from my sister, knowing deep down that I should've done it long ago.

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