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𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝟯
𝘏𝘌𝘈𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘎—the hardest task for a human to achieve.
To heal, you gotta forgive; not just yourself, but the person that hurt you, and that's where the ego comes in and raises its guard to protect one from getting hurt again. The ego starts to say "fuck that person", and the healing become nonexistent.
For De'Aundre, that kinda healing never been easy. It turned into anger, resentment. Sitting down for fourteen years might've been the best thing that happened, despite the circumstances. That gave him a chance to mentally control every part of himself—sexually, emotionally, and physically—staying centered. Although he had his moments of acting up after his release.
The middle child always had the stigma of being rebellious, and growing up that was De. He didn't care for sports the way his brother's did and whatever he did care for it was belittled—by his father especially. The house was full of arguments between the two. The young boy in him felt hated in his own house and had to create outlets of his own.
The music helped him escape emotionally and mentally. But joining Muay Thai boxing gym assisted him releasing some anger physically. Every kick, punch, knee blow, De pictured his father's face. Even though he built a dislike of his overly strict and abusive parental figure, the young boy would have never gotten physical with him no matter how many insults or punches to the chest he had to endure.
Although there was a dislike, the amount of respect he had for Trevor off the strength of him being part of the reason he was on earth, he wouldn't lay hands on him. So, the amount of mental damage it done to him to have to take the life of that person at just fifteen was strong. It started to be his face he saw every kick, punch, and knee blow.
That dislike he had start to circle around him hating himself. Just like his younger brother having a dislike for him for taking someone away that he had the best relationship with.
Several times De would ask himself would it have been easier just to shoot his father in the arm, the leg—a warning shot. Trevor taught all the boys to shoot and aim, so well aware of where to point to kill. The only thing that De'Aundre did remember that night was his mother screaming to her getting silent abruptly and hearing her struggle to breathe.
