Secret Love | Norris & Sainz

03 - separation pain

Lando

One and a half week later was Sunday and the Monza GP, Ferraris home race and therefore was the whole team excited and ready for the race despite a solid qualifying from Charles and Carlos. Unfortunately the cars didn't go as planned and Oscar and I managed to overtake Charles in the race and I also caught Carlos and snatched the podium away from him.

I was happy no doubt but for sure I felt some pain for the Spaniard, who I hadn't been talking to the last ten days. After his statement last week at the press conference and our conversation afterwards I kept the distance, especially after what Charles had told me. I didn't want Carlos to be in any kind of trouble with his team so I was scared to talk to him during the weekend.

Of course I missed him, I missed his nearness, our kisses and his arms in which I could find peaceful sleep. While the Dutch anthem was playing I looked around and through the pit lane and spot the Spaniard in front of the Ferrari garage. When he noticed my look he quickly turned his head and walked back into the garage. Sadly I followed his movements as Verstappen boxed against my arm in order to get my attention back.

Someone handed my the trophy and I smiled fake before quickly emptying my champagne. After the whole thing was done I disappeared into the building and while Verstappen was nowhere to see George, who took the second place stepped next to me.

"Have you still not spoken to each other?" je asked currious and I looked up at him.

He and Alex knew anything because I told them earlier this week. Otherwise I would have gone crazy with keeping everything to myself and they both had known about our relationship so I didn't saw a problem in telling them.

"I don't want to put him in trouble if someone sees us. His team is clearly against a relationship, especially with another driver and especially with one of the biggest rival." I sighed and stopped.

A single tear was running down my cheek and George noticed it luckily and pulled me into a hug.

"But why don't you guys text each other, no one can see that."

I agreed with him but at the same time I wasn't sure if Carlos was mad at me for yelling at him the other day.

"What if he agrees with his team and there is no longer a relationship between us. What if I ruined everything, because I took his hand in Baku. If that had not happened we probably still be friends and no one has to fear consequences."

George gave me a look that should say are you serious before he shook his head.

"What if, what if. No Lando, you two like each other very much everyone can tell that and you have to fight for him and your relationship. Just because someone said it isn't welcome or it doesn't fit into their perfect image of the world you are two young man who love each other, nothing is wrong with that."

Another tear rolled over my face but this time it was because of what George said. His words were so supporting and I was so thankful to have him and Alex by my side through all of this. Because I wasn't able to say something I just hugged my friend.

"And always remember that Alex and I will support you no matter what you decide. But I recommend you to fight for it because Carlos makes you happy and as your friends we want you to be happy."

"Thanks George." I mumbled into his shirt while still holding him tight.

"And now let's go the interviews are waiting. But don't forget after that Alex, you and me are going to celebrate our podiums so don't be too lazy and tired when we pick you up later."

I grumbled but nodded my head and George had to laugh before our ways parted.

Luckily I didn't saw Carlos during my interviews, but probably he was still at the garage discussing the race that went not to good despite starting from P2 and P3. I missed seeing him in the paddock I am not gonna lie but today I wanted to don't think about it and celebrate with my friends like George said. But I resolved to speak to him or write to him next race.

Even though I wasn't sure what to say. Should I apologize for my behavior and that I shouted at him or should he be the one to be sorry, I really had no idea. I had never been in such a situation and the fact that we shouldn't be together didn't make it any better.

Before I could left the paddock I saw his black hair in front of the house of the FIA. Unluckily someone from Ferrari was with him, but the Spaniard looked up for a moment and saw me. Shyly I smiled at him for a second but he noticed it and returned it. Suddenly I felt butterflies in my stomach and a warm feeling spread through my body.

George was right, I was in love with this man and I had to fight for it, but how. I didn't want to ruin our reputation, especially his and put him in a critical situation at Ferrari. But I couldn't live the rest of the season without him next to me and his touches on my skin, his lips on mine, I needed it, like air to breath. For this reason I said to myself that I would text him in the next days, I couldn't wait until Singapore. 

Back at the hotel I had a quick shower before I dressed up again, something classy. Beige trousers and a black shirt where I left the top buttons open, because it still wasn't a dinner, just some club George picked out. After putting on my cologne I sat on the bed and took my phone out. When i turned it on I saw a message and my heart stopped for a second.

Congratulation on your podium!

Carlos texted me and I wasn't sure what to think of it. Was he mad that I overtook him in the last round or was he happy for me, clearly not after starting in the front row, but his text somehow made me shiver and my fingers shook while I tipped an answer.

Thank you Carlos.

Sorry I snatched it away from you.

His response gave me goosebumps as in the same second there was a knock on my door.

You deserved it.

I quickly looked from my phone to the door and stood up. Carlos went offline again and I opened to see George and Alex in front of it. Before I left the room and we went to the elevator together I looked on last time on my screen, just to see another text of him. Especially the emoji gave me mixed feelings but mostly good ones.

More than me ;)