How to Write a Good Story

ACTIVE AND PASSIVE VOICE

Writing instructors will usually tell you to avoid using the passive voice unless you have a specific purpose or effect in mind. Otherwise, you should use the active voice as much as possible. So let's consider what we mean by these terms and how you can use them to improve your writing.

When you use the active voice, you tell the reader directly who or what is doing the action. Sentences in active voice follow the pattern in which someone or something (noun) does something (verb). The do-er, the person or thing that does the action, is the subject of the verb. For instance...

"The boy threw the ball. It ricocheted off a lamppost and landed in the fountain with a splash that drenched a sleepy pigeon."

Here the do-ers are specified: the boy, the ball, and the splash.

When the passive voice is used, the recipient, the person or thing the action is done to, is the subject of the verb. The do-er, if included, is there simply to modify the verb. Here's what the above example would look like in the passive voice...

"The ball was thrown by the boy. A lampost was ricocheted off of by the ball. The fountain was landed on, and a sleepy pigeon was drenched by the splash."

In this version, the subjects of the verbs are: the ball, the lampost, the fountain, and the pigeon.

People usually speak or write in active voice because the active voice is more specific. It communicates a clearer understanding of what's happening. It also sounds better. In fact, in the second example, only the last part, "a sleepy pigeon was drenched by the splash," has any aesthetic appeal. The rest, though grammatically correct, feels awkward.

However, while you should stick with the active voice as much as possible, there are two situations where the passive voice can serve a useful purpose.

Using the Passive Voice to Conceal the Do-er's Identity

Writers use the passive voice most often when they want to conceal the identity of the do-er. Sometimes they do this to avoid laying or admitting blame. For instance, consider the difference between...

A. "I hit your car."

B. "It seems your car was hit."

The speaker in the second example admits no guilt regarding the accident.

People who write for governments, corporations, and other organizations will often use the passive voice to dodge issues of culpability or because they want to protect the reputation of the organization. Consider a sentence like...

A. "Certain safety protocols were rendered more flexible in order to maximize productivity."

vs.

B. "The company owner cut corners so he could make more money."

Most people would say the second sentence expresses a clearer and more accurate understanding of what happened, yet the first sentence is much more likely to make it into a press release or annual report.

In fact, even when using the active voice, writers for organizations sometimes prefer to shift blame onto unconscious entities such as "market forces," "the economy," or "human nature," rather than conscious, human decision-makers.

(Incidentally, one of the reasons people love comedians is because they are allowed to say the truth, including the truths that those in power try to avoid saying. Because they do it in a way that makes people laugh, comedians are free to point the finger at stupidity when the see it, and say "what oft was felt but ne'er so well expressed." Great writers do this too.)