Unspoken

Dear Bestfriend

April 20XX

Dear Bestfriend,

​

What I'm about to say will either make or break.

You've been warned.

If I could turn back time,

I wouldn't change a thing,

except acknowledging my own feelings.

But time was a crucial factor.

You're my friend's former lover.

You're my closest friend.

You lot are all I have.

I don't want to ruin our friendships all at once.

Friendship with more than a decade of foundation.

You were fresh from break-up.

I was not the least bit ready to face the situation.

I was not done figuring myself out.

I was too scared of commitment. *insert "Please don't say you love me by Gabrielle Aplin*

I was healing from a previous heartbreak.

It was not easy as I am doing it by myself, for myself.

I came up with a lot of excuses for how I feel.

Maybe, I was just longing for some attention.

A companion. A comforter.

My emotional absorber.

Maybe because you're the one I talk to frequently.

And that was just too unfair on your side.

But maybe, along the process,

I may have used you, unknowingly.

Or that's just what I thought?

I wonder if I did that deliberately?

That's so toxic of me, right?

After years of denying to myself,

I came to the final conclusion.

That I can't keep you off my mind.

Yes, it might be too late for me but now,

I feel like it's the perfect time to admit it.

Whatever it takes,

I feel like it will be fine.

As long as it makes my mind at peace,

That it was you I wanted all along.

It is the fact that we're miles apart,

That I miss you, every day,

And I long for your attention even more.

Sincerely,

Ahn